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BirthMom
Buds Bulletin
What's new with BirthMom
Buds: Just a
little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Ideas and Insights: Sharing ideas, suggestions, and tips on life as a birthmom.
Defending your Decision Like most everyone else us birthmoms have jobs, go to school, church, or are involved in some type of extracurricular activity that involves many people around us. If you are still pregnant and haven’t broken the baby news to any of these people yet, eventually, it will show! Or if you haven’t told people that you have a child and are a birthmom, it may pop up in conversation one day. So when your classmates, co-workers, fellow church members or teammates question your ability to be strong enough to allow your child a life more distant from you than otherwise, I suggest that you have an answer ready. Think about it before it actually comes up so you are not caught off guard and you know how you will respond. Kindly let them know that the in the grand scheme of things, Moms always know best. Many of your friends at work or school may be older, and their idea of an adoption plan probably includes birthmothers hiding out in some type of maternity home where the general public cannot see your massive tummy and lack of a wedding ring. Then you give birth alone and your baby is immediately carted off to a couple several states away whose name you will never know so you may need to educate people you know about what adoption is today. Many co-workers told me “Don’t you dare lay eyes on that baby; you will change your mind.” Or “I could never do it. I have 3 kids of my own and I could just never take part in ‘giving’ them away.” While this might be true, that same person was probably at a point in their life in which raising a child was feasible. Perhaps they were already married and had a full time job, just waiting for a dependent to place on their stellar insurance plan so you may need to firmly state you did what you thought was best at the time and leave it at that. Also, don’t let anyone try and dictate what your hospital experience should be or should have been. For those who are just curious about your story, only share what you feel comfortable sharing. Never allow them to question your inner strength and make you think you are incapable of such a feat. Respectfully tell them that you feel adoption is the absolute best for all parties involved. Always remember in your heart that you are doing or did what is best!
Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue.
Songs that Remind Us of Adoption Imagine that you are currently driving down the road listening to the radio. You are not really paying attention to really anything, but still humming through the tunes that keep coming on your local radio or XM Radio. You have heard these songs time and time again. Then the next song comes on the radio. Something in the song really hits you and you begin to tear up while listening to the song, humming to it, and also driving. You ask yourself, "Why did this song make me cry?"
If you
are like me...then this happens all of the time just for
various reasons, but especially if the song may have
adoption undertones or a theme that could be used in the
adoption world. Some
of the songs make me think about where I was in life, who I
was with, or how I was feeling when I placed my child into
the arms of her adopted parents.
In years past, I have talked about what songs bring up adoption memories for myself or other people of what songs we would dedicate to our children that we have placed. Figured since it has been awhile and the music has changed I would compile another list. These are new and old songs that either hold special meaning to me or to other birthmothers that I have spoken with. You will see that there are some songs that may not be as common as others.
Birthday Buds: In this section, we will list birthdays of our members and their birth children, so if you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)
Kara Hart celebrates
her own birthday on March 3rd and her daughter, Mary, turns 14 on
March 5th.
Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list. Email Amy with your prayer requests.
"Continue
prayers for Rob's job search. He has had phone interviews from
several different colleges and or universities and he will have an
on campus interview with Augsburg College on March 12th. Pray for
our safe travel to Minneapolis that weekend!! Also pray that he will
get a few more campus interview requests before March 12th!!
Augsburg falls pretty low on our list right now for accepting a
position there."
Amy Schumaker
Birthmother Support Groups: We've added this feature to our monthly newsletters in the hopes that it will connect you with local birthmother support groups if that is something that you are searching for. While we believe the support you'll find at BirthMom Buds is invaluable, we also believe that the support that you'll find at a live support group meeting other birthmothers face to face is just as invaluable. This list is going to start off short but hopefully, it will grow over time as more people find out about it and as more people begin to form support groups for birthmothers in their local communities.
California
Indiana
North Carolina
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin
Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.
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