BirthMom Buds Bulletin
April 2007

"Without rain, there would be no rainbows."

What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Birthmother's Day ~ Birthmother's Day is quickly approaching! It is May 12th this year. BirthMom Buds is hosting their annual event in Charlotte, NC this year. All birthmoms are welcome!! Email us for more information or check out the Birthmom's Day page. Also, we are adding new events to the Birthmother's Day page as they come in so check it out to see if there is an event in your area. If you know of an event in  your area and would like for us to list it on the Birthmother's Day page, please email us with the information.
Pictures Needed ~ Be a star!! Submit your pictures for inclusion in the Annual BirthMom Buds slideshow. See the founders corner section below for more details.
HeartMark Designs ~ For adoptive parents and adoption professionals who may be reading the newsletter, we are pleased to announce that once again HeartMark Designs will be selling their exclusive line of Birthmother's Day cards. Check them out!
Turn Trash into Cash for BBuds ~ Fellow member Joyce B. has brought an exciting fundraising opportunity to us. By simply turning in our old cell phones and used printer cartridges, Cartridges for Kids, will make monetary donations to BirthMom Buds. BBuds uses monetary donations for shipping on the care packages, toll free phone bill, website fees, etc.  If you have an old cell phone or ink cartridges lying around, email Joyce and she'll send you a pre-paid postal envelope. This is so easy - why not tell your friends and family about this too!

 

Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization,  individual, or issue.

Open Adoption Blog
by Suzi Thompson 

As most members of BirthMom Buds know one of our co-founder, Coley’s, life missions is to spread adoption awareness. One way she has found to do this is by becoming a blogger at Adoption Blogs, a blogging community hosted by Adoption Media, LLC. Daily, Coley is one of the open adoption bloggers there and posts information and stories related to open adoption, a topic she has plenty of experience in.

When I asked Coley how she got started doing this she responded by saying: “My friend Genevieve was writing the open adoption blog at the time and she said that I needed to blog with her, and how cool it would be to have an adoptive mom and a birth mom blogging on open adoption together. So she emailed the editor. But they weren't hiring for open adoption they were hiring for crisis pregnancy so I submitted my application and got accepted and began blogging on the crisis pregnancy blog in June of 2006. Then in September an open adoption position became available so I snatched it up too.”

Coley’s blogs contain tips and information related to open adoption such as gifts for your birthchild, visits with your birthchild, positive communication between birth and adoptive families, just to name a few.

After reading one of Coley’s blogs feedback can be left. Coley said most of the time she has received mostly positive feedback although there have been times someone has disagreed with her. But Coley says, that’s ok, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and point of view and may not always agree. Most of her feedback has come from adoptive moms, birthmoms, and other bloggers.

This is a great blog to check out for both adoptive parents and birthparents alike. Or even for people who would like to know more about open adoption and the issues related to it.

In addition to the open adoption Blog Coley writes, Adoption Blogs hosts a variety of other blogs including blogs on adoptive parenting, being a birthparent, search and reunion, etc… Coley still writes the crisis pregnancy blog there as well.

Thanks Coley for sharing about your life away from BirthMomBuds.

 

 

 

 

Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it. 

How to deal with people that don't understand
By Raquel Pitcher

Since I placed my son for adoption in September of 2002, I have had to deal with the views and opinions of different people. Some people are sympathetic to my decision and some object and feel that what I did was wrong.  

As a birthmother I know sympathy is not what I need. With these type of responses I;

There is nothing more hurtful, after you place your newborn into the arms of his adoptive mother,than to have someone put you down for doing so.

To handle these situations, I;

During the first few weeks, months, or even years you might not know how to tell people you meet about your birthchild. You may not know how to react to their views. It is up to you whether to talk about your adoption or when. Just remember. Never be ashamed no matter what people say to you.

 

Buddy of the Month: All of you are appreciated, but each month we will spotlight a different involved member. You can also nominate fellow BirthMom Buds who you think deserve to be buddy of the month. For more info or to nominate a friend, visit the Buddy of the Month Page.

Stephanie Drews is a 24 year old birthmom to a beautiful, almost 7 year old boy, Caleb Andrew.  Stephanie became pregnant at the age of 18. She hid her pregnancy from her family in fear that they would hate her or not stand by her decision. She placed Caleb in a semi-open adoption and has never once regretted her decision. She receives pictures of him every so often and is able to send him gifts, letters, and pictures as well.

Stephanie currently works full time at the local health department and is about one year away from completing her degree in Human Geography where she would be able to teach middle school and high school students. Eventually, Stephanie plans to get her Masters degree and become a birthmother counselor.

In her spare time, Stephanie speaks at Lutheran Services of Georgia and Catholic Social Services to groups of prospective adoptive parents about her experience and adoption through the eyes of a birthmother.  When she is not working, she volunteers at the Humane Society and tries to spend as much time as possible with her boyfriend, Greg, and her friends and family. 

Stephanie loves to talk and admits she sometimes does to much of it!  Her life's theme song would be "This is my life" by Bon Jovi and if Stephanie were to write an autobiography, it would be entitled "A Different Shade of Blonde." Her favorite television shows include the ever popular ABC hits, Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters. She loves Brothers and Sisters so much that if she were able to join any television family it would be the Walkers.

Stephanie joined BirthMom Buds about a year ago and has since become a mentor sharing her experience and wisdom with pregnant women considering adoption. Thank you Stephanie for your contribution to BirthMom Buds and the adoption community!

 

Prayers Please ~ We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list.  Mary (Snowprincess in our chats) has agreed to be in charge of this section, so please send your prayer requests to her - just put "BBuds prayer request" in the subject so she won't think it's junk mail! :)


"Please pray for my Grandma Ginny. She has cervical cancer that has spread. She is in New York right now seeing a specialist" ~ Alicia Moser

"Please continue to keep my brother and all the other service men and women serving in Iraq and other countries in your thoughts and prayers." ~ Jenifer Hulbert

"Please pray for my friend Donna. She has a viral infection that will take as long as 4-6 weeks to clear up." ~ Mary B.

Please continue to keep Jodi's daughter Savannah in your prayers as she continues to battle brain cancer.

Birthday Buds:
 Around her birth daughter's 1st birthday, Amy Morse had the bright idea that BirthMom Buds should give members the opportunity to announce their birthdays and their birth children's bdays in the newsletter. If you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is  May 21, then you need to email it to Amy by April 25! So email Amy with those March birthdays now! We hope you enjoy the new section and thanks to Amy for her help with it! (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)

Michelle Montgomery's daughter, Olivia will be two on April 1st.
Suzi Thompson's birthday is April 5th.
Leigh Harding's daughter, Jessica, turns 3 years old on April 17th.
Alicia Moser celebrates her birthday on April 27th.

 


Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.

It is time for me to begin planning our annual slide show. The slideshow will be debuted at the NC Birthmother’s Day Event on May 12th and then used through out the year on the website and in other presentations through out the year as needed.

I still have not made a final decision as to what song to use this year so you will just have to be surprised! But I am in need of your pictures!

I’d love pictures of:

Basically, send me your favorite photos and I will choose what fits the song and my story line. I will do my best to use as many different children and birthmom’s pictures as possible. If you send me your pictures you are giving me permission to use them. It’s your responsibility to ok the use of your child’s pictures from their adoptive parents.

Please email photos to birthmombuds@gmail.com and put “slideshow pics” in the subject line. Also, please put your name, your child’s name, your child’s age, and adoption type in the email with the photos.

Thanks!!

Coley

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.

 

Between Her Life and Dreams
by Jeska Kelly

She sits, silent,
Waiting…
For what,
She's not quite sure.
Something to ease her pain,
I guess,
Some sort of
Magic cure.

She wishes she could hold his hand,
Kiss his soft, sweet face
She wishes she could feel his warmth,
His innocent embrace.

At times when she is in that place,
Between her life and dreams,
Not sleeping, not quite awake,
He visits her, it seems.

He looks at her, his smile bright,
She sees his magic eyes.
His dark hair, wavy, in the breeze,
Behind him, sunny skies.

When all is silent, all is still,
She thinks she hears his voice.
A laugh- angelic, clean and pure,
She feels her heart rejoice.

 She swears she sees his flawless face,
She feels his perfect skin.
She sees he's got her hands and feet.
He's got her cheeks and chin.

And though he has so much of her,
Something seems so wrong.
It seems that in this lovely dream,
She does not belong.

Because although he has her cheeks,
And chin, and hands and feet,
She does not have but an image of him.
Her dream is not complete.

 At times it brings her sadness,
At times, she sheds a tear,
Knowing that between her life and dreams
Is the only time he's here.

 Between her life and dreams,
It is easy to pretend
That the joy that makes her body smile
Will not come to an end.

 There is a place she's come to love,
Where all is well, it seems,
They hope, they laugh, they dance, they smile,
Between her life and dreams.

 

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