Questions to ask yourself when considering adoption


"A persons a person no matter how small." ~ Dr. Seuss

1. Are you ready to raise a child?
This is probably the most important question of all. Do you feel that you have the life experience and knowledge, and discipline to lovingly raise and teach a child in everything that is required? Can you deal with exasperation and frustration on a continual basis without taking it out on the child? Do you feel that you are ready to be a parent for the rest of your life, every single day and minute and hour?

2. How much time will you have to devote to this child?
Do you go to college? To school? To work? Who will take of the child in the meantime, and if you have to pay them how are you going to afford it? How much time would you actually be able to spend with them?

3. Where will my child grow up?
Do you live in a nice neighborhood? Are there good schools? Are there other children around and a place for them to play? Would you want your child to play with those children? Where would the child stay in your apartment or house? Is it safe? Is there a park or yard for them to run around in? What animals do you have?

4. What environment will my child be raised in?
This has more to do with the other people staying in the same house and whether they would be a good influence.

5. Who will help you raise this child?
Do you have anyone willing to support you mentally, emotionally, physically, financially?  Do you have a good network of family and friends that are willing to help you? Is the child's father involved?

6. Will this child have two parents?
This is debatable but if you feel that it requires 2 people to raise a child, then this is something to consider.

7. Other children (if you have them)
Will parenting this child deprive your other children of necessities?

8. Finances
Can you afford to raise this child? There is WIC, and many other programs for single mothers, etc. Look at them and the requirements. Do you want to use them? Would it be enough? What would you have to do?

9. Culture and identity
If  you come from a specific culture or ethnological heritage, it may be more difficult to find an adoptive family with the same cultural heritage, etc. or who is willing to bring the child up with awareness of their background and history.

10. Pros and Cons -
Writing a list of the pros and cons for placing can be very helpful.  But, also write a list of pros and cons for parenting - Then compare the 2.  Sometimes it helps to get things in writing on paper.

 

What NOT to consider:

1.Being threatened
If your boyfriend or husband threatens to leave you if you keep the child, do not factor that into your decision. First of all, I don’t think they really care about you if they ask you such a decision. Secondly, if you break up with them later you will live with that decision for the rest of your life.

2.  Opinions
Your support group (friends, family, what have you) will probably have very definite ideas of what you should or shouldn’t do. This needs to be your decision because your baby and you will live with it for the rest of your lives.

 

 

Thanks to Abigail for all her help with the Pregnant and Placing section!