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BirthMom
Buds Bulletin
What's new with BirthMom
Buds: Just a
little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Ideas and Insights: Sharing ideas, suggestions, and tips on life as a birthmom.
Being a
Birthmother at Christmas: A Time for Joy? If you listen to the radio stations or walk through stores from November through December, the sights and sounds of Christmas surround you. To coin a lyric in a popular Christmas song, “It’s that time of year when the world falls in love…” It is a time for rejoicing and being thankful, a time to reflect on the experiences the past year has brought your way, and a time of year for you to be around the ones you love and care deeply for. Is it that way for you as a birth mother? I can distinctly remember the first Christmas after my son, George, was born. I was afraid of how I was going to react and if the Christmas Season was going to be the same. I was fearful of being melancholy because I was not going to have the one person on this Earth that I loved unconditionally with me. I definitely did not want to be the “downer” for my family, but I also wanted everyone around me to understand that it may be a difficult time for me. I have visits with my son in December, usually in between my birthday and Christmas. My first Christmas visit was when George was six months old. I carried him around for most of the visit and he fell asleep on me despite all the craziness surrounding us with his older sister excited about new presents. I brought to his family some things that my family holds dear, such as a copy of The Polar Express, which my Father reads to the grandkids each Christmas season. I wanted them to know that they will be a part of our tradition, and in turn, I was given a book that their family reads every year as well. About a week after my visit, George’s parents sent up a silver bell with his name engraved on it so that when my father reads The Polar Express, George’s bell can be rung with the rest of the grandkids. After I received that gift from his parents, I knew I could officially rejoice as I had done for so many years in the beauty of the Christmas Season. I was no longer afraid of not having George near me. After all, each year brings changes and different experiences…this was just a change. I realized what I could rejoice in…the gift of LIFE. Six months prior, a child was born into the world and because of my “yes” to life, I gave his parents the gift of a child. Getting pregnant and having George born was a gift of life for myself, because I got a second chance at life and living in the light of God. Every year, people usually ask me, “How do you cope with the holiday season?” I'm sure each of us handles it differently, but this is how I handle it.
I know some of you reading this article do not have the ability to visit with your child. I do not know what that feels like but I do know some birthmothers in closed adoptions writing to their child at Christmas and storing the letter or card in a box to give to their child when they may meet each other. I have also heard of them buying a very small present every year for their child, writing why they bought that present and storing it. If you have a tradition that you carry out every holiday season, make sure to share it with other birth mothers because you never know what may help someone else. I know the Christmas season for me still holds that same nostalgic feeling of being a joyous time…even as a birth mother. I have so much to be thankful for: a new “lease” on life, a beautiful son that is happy, connections I have made with other birth mothers and the realization that just like Jesus’ mother Mary, I brought a child into this world and George has changed my life and other’s lives forever. May you have a Blessed Christmas and know that I pray for you everyday!
How do YOU handle the holidays? Join us in our birthmothers only forums as we support each other and share what gets us through the good days and bad!
Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue.
Spotlighting Christmas Gift
Ideas for your Birth Child Thinking about what to buy my daughter for Christmas often has the same effect as trying to decide on her birthday gift: stress. What to get? Will she like it? How can I incorporate something meaningful into something she actually will use or like? In the past five and half years, I have found that there is a balance: one meaningful thing and one practical or fun thing I know she will love. It ends up the best of both worlds for us because she’ll have the sentimental things for later in life and to grow up with but also has something she’s wanted to use now. I have written about a few adoption birthday related gifts this summer, and those are certainly options for Christmas gifts as well and are worth looking at again if you are searching for ideas, but I also wanted to share some other things I have come across in the past few months.
Books are
always a great gift idea. I recently came across a new book called
“The Best
for You” written and illustrated by Kelsey Stewart.
Kelsey is a birthmom herself and wrote the book to show why
birthmothers chose adoption, “that adoption is about love, not that
the child is not wanted.”
Another great book gift idea would be one of the new recordable books by Hallmark. Using a device in the book you read the book and it records you reading it. With the press of a button, your child can hear you reading a story to him or her. They only have a few titles available including the popular Christmas classic Twas the Night Before Christmas. Ornaments are also a great smaller gift idea for your child. You can have fun with this and select an ornament that reminds you of your child at this particular time in life. Make it a tradition and give your child an ornament each year and by the time he or she is an adult, they will have a collection of ornaments from you.
Some of
these items I’ve mentioned above are only available only online from
what I can tell so if you want it in time for the holidays you
better hurry and get to shopping!
Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.
As the hustle and bustle of the holiday season draws near, we find ourselves reflecting back upon simpler days and times. As we wrestle with thoughts of what to buy Kinsey and Charlie for Christmas, we find ourselves nostalgic for simpler, less complicated "vintage" toys like Rainbow Bright, wooden rocking chairs, GI Joes, blocks, tops, and slinkies. But we keep in our hearts the true reason for each and every Christmas season and that fills us with internal love, peace, and joy. Wishing each of
you a peaceful, joyful, and love filled holiday season!
(And because I know you are probably wondering, neither of us drives that old green van in the picture. We just thought it was random and classic!)
Birthday Buds:
In this section, we will list birthdays of our members and their birth children,
so if you
would like to
have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section,
please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to
Amy by the 25th
of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday
is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. (Note: You can click
on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)
Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or
your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on
anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And
if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list.
Email Amy
with your prayer requests.
Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words. Christmas Reflections
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