In honor of our birthday this month, we decided to spotlight one of our own programs, the Pregnant and Placing program. We'd like to raise awareness of this program and all it entails.

The Pregnant and Placing program is so dear to my heart, as I wish I would have had someone who knew what I was feeling during my pregnancy and those hard few weeks after relinquishment. We created our program in 2003 to serve as a special place and program for pregnant women who are considering adoption. The Pregnant and Placing area on the website is kind of like a mini website within the big website and includes special links for pregnant women considering adoption, such as information on entrustment ceremonies, possible questions to ask prospective adoptive parents, birth mom’s bill of rights, and much more!

Our special mentoring program matches birthmother’s who are at peace with their decision with women who are pregnant and considering adoption. We hope that having someone who has “been there, done that” to lean on is helpful to our “mentees” (our word for the women we are mentoring) Women join the program in many different stages of the process. Some join with just weeks left to go, having a family chosen, etc. while others join just a few months pregnant not positive on whether they will parent or place. We support our mentees whatever their choice may be. We are always there for them either way.

Melanie Mosberg is the coordinator of the Pregnant and Placing Program. She had a mentor and went through the program herself when she was pregnant with her birth daughter, Sarah. Melanie says, “ I was very fortunate to have Coley (co-founder of Bmom Buds) as my mentor. Coley was always there unconditionally and for that I am very grateful. Our mentoring relationship became a long lasting friendship.”

Melanie took over as the coordinator in June of 2005. “When Coley asked me to take over the Pregnant and Placing Program I was truly honored. It was something that was in my heart.”

Mentors and mentees alike seem to love the program. Suzie, a mentor, says that mentoring has brought her more healing to her own situation. Tamara, a mentee, boasts that her mentor (Alicia M.) was “the best mentor ever!”

Another division of this program is our care packages. We collect items and send care packages to mentees (who list their address on the mentee application) about 2-3 weeks after placement. We include things such as a journal, an inspirational book, bookmark, picture frame, candle, bath stuff, photo album and more! Ciara recently received a care package after placing her birth daughter and says that the care package was completely unexpected and that receiving it was special and made her realize that there are others out there who truly understand.

Becoming a mentor ~ If you think you might be interested in becoming a mentor, please read the rules and fill out the mentoring application.

Pregnant and considering adoption ~ If you are pregnant and considering adoption and would like to have a mentor, please fill out the Preg and Placing form.

Giving, hilarious and selfless are three words Coley would use to describe her closest friend Lani. Lani says Coley is honest, encouraging and funtastic. In honor of BirthMom Buds’ 3^rd birthday, best friends and co-founders of Birthmom Buds, Coley Strickland and Lani Downing have been selected as this months Buddies of the Month.

All of us have at one time or another talked, laughed, and cried with Coley and Lani. But a closer look inside these two people and their friendship is something we all could learn from and rarely get with the people in our own lives.

Lani, a deeply spiritual person, would aspire to be a better listener if she could easily change something about herself. However I believe she would be listening very closely if she could ask God only one question - "What do you want from me?" Coley would change only one thing about Lani and that is that she would become a better speller so that when they exchange instant messages and emails it wouldn’t hurt her brain to try and figure out what Lani's saying.  Coley, the constant optimist, wishes she wasn’t such a perfectionist. If she was a super hero she would want to be super woman, because she can do everything. Lani believes that Coley’s favorite quote is "If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it, it's the hard part that makes it good." Although that isn’t actually Coley’s favorite quote, it is a perfect description of her personality and the way she lives.

Coley and Lani would both like to be a professional figure skater if they could be an athlete . They are both night owls who see the world and life around them as a glass half full. They would both like to be remembered for their work in adoption awareness. They both see themselves and each other as leaders, however Lani would like a leadership role like the Vice President, not the President. Coley and Lani are together learning sign language.

A look at growing up, Coley’s favorite memories of her parents is a long list. Her mother made handmade birthday cakes for her and her brother and her Dad took her out at 3a.m. to see Hailey’s Comet in 1986. Those are some of the best childhood memories she has and she would like to live until she is 88 so that she can see Hailey’s Comet again and be one of the few people that see it twice in a lifetime. Lani remembers a trip to a water spring with her mother and her father playing games and singing church songs with her while she was growing up.

Coley has an abnormal fear of aliens and would never want a career in anything to do with them. She collects purses of every size, shape and color and Lani admires her for her trendy style. She is childlike and innocent when she is sick, and lists the birth of her children and Bette Midler’s Miss Millenium Tour as the most exciting things she has ever witnessed. Lani has a birthmark in the shape of Florida in an amusing place. You’ll have to ask her personally where it is. Coley says that Lani loves to pull pranks and warns us to be especially cautious of her on April Fool’s Day. Lani would take a DVD of Oprah back in time to impress her ancestors, where as Coley would take a laptop computer (with a high speed DSL internet connection I would assume).

Lani’s perfect mate is described in 5 words as Thomas, Tom, hubby, friend, and Tommy but after he was asleep and not looking over her shoulder she changed her answer to a Christian, honest, dark haired, light eyed man that is about 5' 10" tall. The quote "you never know what’s in the tea until its heated up" is the way she describes relationships. If things are perfect and if there is no riff you never know what’s in it.

Coley would choose a wonderful romantic relationship that was going to end after one year rather than a so-so relationship that would last a lifetime. She believes that everyone should be as lucky as she is to have experienced the true love of your soul mate, whether that be for one week, one year, or a lifetime. She describes her perfect mate in 5 words as, "His name is Jason" - oops that’s only 4. I guess you can’t improve on perfection.

Coley and Lani’s story about meeting in person for the first time is something they both freely share. They met at a waffle house on Lani’s way to Virginia for her birth daughter’s baptism. Although they had spoken many times over the internet and phone, this first face to face meeting was the beginning of a friendship that would create endless ties between them. Lani remembers thinking that Jason was the best daddy she had ever seen and she felt truly blessed to have been given a friend like Coley. Later in their friendship, Lani was in Coley’s wedding and Lani named her son Nicholas after Coley.

Lani shared some of the special moments she and Coley have shared over the years that really show the depth of their friendship. On a special trip to Virginia to visit Lani’s birth daughter, Coley and Lani did some shopping and made handmade earrings. These are her favorite earrings and remind her of Coley every time she wears them. Being with Coley takes Lani to a special place she thinks we should all be. Carefree and happy just to be here is the way she sees Coley facing life. Lani remembers thinking that Noah has an innocence around him and watching Coley with him inspires her to be a better mother. Coley throws amazing birthday parties and lets nothing limit her love for her children, her devotion to her friends and family, or herself.

Coley has nicknamed them as the Independence Day sisters as Lani and Coley’s birthday’s fall on Independence Day (July 4) and Mexican Independence Day (Sept 16). Number #21 on Coley’s list of things to do before she dies is to take a trip to Mexico with Lani and sip some yummy drink from a coconut. Strangely enough Lani’s dream vacation is oddly similar and includes looking up Coley’s family history.

The purpose of the Buddy of the Month section of the news letter is to give each of us a look at other members of Birthmom Buds, their lives, and feelings about themselves and the world around them. Coley and Lani share a deep love and conviction for God, their families and their friends. Although each of them is a different person with different likes and dislikes, they are bound together by a friendship that is unbreakable. At the time that I got done writing this article, a song came over the radio that made me think about these remarkable ladies. “Friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the Lord of them. And a friend would not say never and the welcome will not end... In the father’s hands we know, that a lifetime’s not to long to live as friends.”

"I was in a car accident in November right before Thanksgiving. I ended up breaking my ankle and collar bone. I had to send my daughter, Angelina, to stay with my mother because I could not take care of her physically. I was confined to a wheel chair because I could not use crutches due to the fact that my collar bone was broken and I had to use a collar bone brace on it as well. Now I have made another huge move and am now in Atlanta, GA and awaiting to receive my daughter back in February on the exact day of my birth daughters birthday. I ask that God gives me strength on that day as well as hope for a better life and future and that our lives will stay good in his grace. Thanks!"  - Olivia

"Please take the time to say a prayer, maybe more than one time a day, for Mr. Bailey, Coley's brother in law. He has been diagnosed and is battling cancer. Please also pray for his two children, Coley and her husband Jason and their entire families as they cope with this... Send good thoughts and what strength you can....Hold each and every one in your heart, they need support right now. Thanks."
~ Brandy

"I'd like to request prayers for my newborn nephew, Brenden. He has a genetic disease (Crigler-Najjar Syndrome) which affects his liver. It causes elevated jaundice levels and could cause permanent brain damage or liver failure or both. He is currently undergoing testing to see how severe the disease is and if it can be controlled at this stage (we know the disease itself can be controlled b/c my niece, his sister, has the same thing). Thank you!" ~ Jenn M. -- Bmom to Blake

Ode to BirthMom Buds
by Coley Strickland and Jenn M.

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