BirthMom Buds

For Brittany
By Alicia Moser

Dear Brittany, If I could tell you, if i could say, how much I love you, this would be the way.

There is a piece of my heart,
that is far apart from me.

For nine months, she grew within me,
for nine months, I longed to see her.

Then she came about,
and I loved with all my heart,
without a doubt.

I named her Brittany,
which means strong,
yet she doesn't know the one who named her,
the one who longs to be with her.

But for some reason,
it wasn't meant to be,
with the blink of an eye,
they gave my infant to someone else to love,
you see.
 

There was nothing I could say,
there was nothing I could do.
All I could do was love her from far away,
and my love for her grows deeper every day.

If I could find her,
I could tell her,
how wrong they were,
how I long to be with her,
how to this day my heart is broken,
how much I didn't want to let her go,
all these words I would have spoken.

I think of her everyday,
Where is she now?,
What is she doing?,
Will she ever want to meet me?,
Will she I didn't want to let her go?,
Will she know how much I love her so?
Does she know I count down the years
till I can look for her?,
Does she know I even exist?

I pray for the day when I can hold my "baby" in my arms,
to say how much I always loved her,
to say how much I have missed her,
to give her a lifetime of hugs and kisses,
to help her like any mom could,
or would if they had let me.
To let her know I always wanted her,
that I never forgot my firstborn, you can bet.
I just hope and pray that the day will come,
when I have the chance to say what I have to say,
that she will believe and always know,
that I never wanted to let her go.

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