My daughter, Brittany was taken away from
me when she was twenty days old. My ex-husband and I got her back for a month.
Then her foster parents went back and told the court that my ex-husband and I
were neglecting her. They believed them and came here to Texas and took her
back to Colorado. When she was almost two years old, the court terminated my
and my ex-husbands parental rights to Brittany. Her foster parents were
allowed to adopt her when she was three years old. Her adoptive parents told
us that they would send pictures after the adoption was final. We knew that
that was the best we could hope for. We also knew that they would never let us
see her. They did send us one set of pictures but no more after that. They
broke their promise. I have talked to first moms and adoptive moms and learned
why open adoption is important.
1)The adopted will want to know who they
are and where they come from- Their first family is part of who they are and
the adopted child may want to see them occasionally, talk to them
occasionally, and write to them personally as they get older. Adoptive
parents do not need feel threatened by this. Their child(ren) just has the
natural curiosity to know their background.
2) It makes the adoption easier on the
first mom and/or the first father and, in some cases, the parents of the
first parents. From the beginning, the first family is certain that they
have made the best decision for their child(ren). Receiving pictures,
letters, updates, as well as occasional visits reaffirms that decision.
3) Health purposes- If their child were
to get sick, or just for general knowledge, an adoptive parent could tell
their child or children's doctor that their first mother or first father has
that health problem. It can also be a look into the future to possible
health problems their child(ren) may have.
4) It can also help the adoptive parents
also when their child(ren) comes to them and asks questions like "What is my
first family like?" ,"Do they love me?", "Why was I adopted?", "Do they have
other kids?", etc., etc., they will be able to answer them and help their
child(ren).
5) Saves the adoptee and birth parent(s)
from an exhaustive search- because as they get older open adoption keeps
adopted children and birth parent(s) from having to search and search and
search which can be stressful, time consuming and sometimes costly.