BirthMom Buds Bulletin January 2007

What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
New Poems ~ Check out the new poems on the Inspiration Page!
New Showcase Pages ~ Check out the new showcase page for Jamie B.
Turn Trash into Cash for BBuds ~ Fellow member Joyce B. has brought an exciting fundraising opportunity to us. By simply turning in our old cell phones and used printer cartridges, Cartridges for Kids, will make monetary donations to BirthMom Buds. BBuds uses monetary donations for shipping on the care packages, toll free phone bill, website fees, etc. If you have an old cell phone or ink cartridges lying around, email Joyce and she'll send you a pre-paid postal envelope. This is so easy - why not tell your friends and family about this too!
Writers needed ~ Writers are always needed for newsletters! We especially need writers for the special February edition where we will celebrate BirthMom Buds fourth birthday with articles and poems related to BirthMom Buds, friendship, and the importance of having birthmoms as friends. Email Alicia if you are interested.

Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue.

A Look Back: Christian Adoption Services 2006 Birthmother Retreat By Jamie B.

Last November I had the privilege of attending my first post placement birthmother retreat (sponsored by the agency I placed my daughter through, Christian Adoption Services) in the beautiful countryside of Denton, NC at the Walter Johnson Retreat Center. I checked into the retreat center that evening with close to 20 other ladies ranging in different ages and adoption types. Although the experience of being a birthmother has been painful, it was a real pleasure to meet so many wonderful women that I had something in common with.

After getting settled in to my room and meeting my roommate and some of the other birthmoms, it was time for dinner. We made our way down to the clubhouse where our delicious dinner was being catered and served by the CAS staff and volunteers. The clubhouse, where we were going to spend a lot of our time during the retreat, was decorated with a beautiful heart theme that expressed God’s unconditional love for us. I was pretty impressed with the love, attention and care that were put into all of the details of the retreat so far.

After dinner we played some fun introductory games to get to know one another better. To conclude our first evening together we put our coats on and walked outside to a huge open fire pit to roast marshmallows. Then we went back to ourlodge for the evening and just hung out until bedtime.

We began our second day back at the clubhouse for breakfast. There we met one of our speakers,Melody Perez,a birthmother that is now serving full time in Christian ministries who was there to share her story of how God can use us in spite of our past. She also shared with us her talent of singing and playing the guitar. Before lunch, ladies from the agency took our pictures and had us design picture frames and home made cards for our children that would be sent to them around Christmas time. We all decorated our frames with such love and care knowing that our children would be getting these. I loved this aspect of the retreat because these would be a tangible reminder of how much we thought of them and loved them.

After lunch and crafts, we heard from one more guest speaker. Her name is Sherrie Eldridge. She is an adult adoptee who is a well known author and speaker. She shared with us her own struggle as a young woman through her own unplanned pregnancy and her personal struggles in being an adoptee. I really appreciated Sherrie’s presence at our retreat because I really felt as though she really had a genuine love for us as birthmothers. She shared with us of how she was reunited with her birthmother and loved her so much.

After Sherrie shared with us, we went out wall climbing for the afternoon for some fresh air. And then we got dressed for the evening just in time to be taken out to dinner at quaint little restaurant. We ate dinner and were treated like princesses that night.

To end our evening, we went back to the clubhouse where we sat in a circle and were blessed with special gift bags from the agency and updates and pictures of our children and their families. Then we had an opportunity to share our story with the group if we chose to.

On our last day of the retreat, the birthmother from Saturday led praise and worship and another seasoned birthmother led our devotions. Then we received balloons and headed outside to a cute little bridge that over looked a pond to release our balloons. Some of us had prayers or our children’s names on our balloons. Then we released while we listened to Mark Shultz’s new song,” Everything to Me.” We cried and held each other as we watched our balloon vanish out of sight.

Then we headed back to the clubhouse for one more round of lunch before we said our goodbyes until next year. As a new birthmother I was really blessed by this retreat. I found it very healing and refreshing to share in such a wonderful experience after the loss of my daughter just a few months earlier and am already looking forward to next years retreat.

Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!! Can you believe that it is a New Year already?!? I don’t know about you but this past year went quickly. I know many people who make resolutions for the New Year but I like to look back on the past year to see what I accomplished and make some goals for myself for the next year.

So, I asked this question in our forums to fellow birthmoms: What are your accomplishments for 2006 and what are your goals for 2007? Here is what some of you had to say….

Lee - Accomplishment: Moved home and finally able to see, hear, talk and hug my son, Glenn. It has been a very positive year, one of growth both emotionally and psychologically.
Goal: To grow my relationship with Glenn. Show my husband just how important he is to me and how much I value our life together.

Jamie – Accomplishment: I helped create a beautiful baby girl that was born in March. Renewed my CPR license. Continuing to raise my precious Gabrielle.
Goal: Plan to take at least 1 class online to work towards to a degree. Take my relationship with God a little more seriously.

Melissa – Accomplishment: I had a beautiful baby boy, Cole. I chose wonderful parents for him. I will be graduating soon as I am all caught up with school work.
Goal: To graduate. To loose this baby fat. To be more open. To start writing again. To just enjoy life as it comes.

Jesse – Accomplishment: Moved from Hawaii to Minn. while 8 months pregnant. I am so blessed that I found a couple who want to be parents to our daughter but also my friend.
Goal: Go to Boston for 3 months and return to Minn. to complete another teaching job. Continue to move forward in my healing, building my relationship with the adoptive family and search for that perfect full time teaching job for myself.

Jennifer D. –Accomplishment: A new respect and love for my parents and what I have put them through. I have come to love my parents in a whole new way.
Goal: No more sex!! And to have as stress free a year as possible. No more surprises and to be 100% truthful with my parents. If I need them, to know that I can always go to them.

Alicia –Accomplishment: My hubby and I celebrated 4 years of marriage. Michaela turned 11, Hannah turned 3 and Brittany turned 12. I started an online college program in Criminal Justice. Published my poetry book.
Goal: Write more poems, continue going to college online. Make more time for my kids and husband. Move into a house.

As for me, well, it was a year of ups and downs. Accomplishment: Stand up and demand answers on my health. Work through continuing issues I have had with Jessica. Continue with therapy even when it has gotten hard. Talk more about Jessica. Became a mentor. My goals: Continue with therapy and healing. Keep building a relationship with Louise, Barry and Jessica. To continue to see Jessica at every opportunity.

So as we enter this New Year just take a moment and a few minutes and look at everything that you accomplished in 2006 and look at 2007 as a time to set some realistic goals for yourself. As Jesse said, “Map out your life, but do it in pencil.”

Buddy of the Month: All of you are appreciated, but each month we will spotlight a different involved member. You can also nominate fellow BirthMom Buds who you think deserve to be buddy of the month. For more info or to nominate a friend, visit the Buddy of the Month Page.

Michelle (known as Marmy in the forums and chat) is 23 years old and is birthmommy to Olivia who is 21 months old. "Olivia is placed in an open adoption with my oldest

sister A. Little Olivia came on April Fools day in 2005 and YES....people didn't believe me when I called to say I had gone into labor! I am also the proud momma to Grafton who was born in September 2006, almost 6 weeks early and spent his first 2 months of life in the NICU. Both my baby's are by the same man and I am planning on moving back up to Utah (as soon as Grafton is able to travel) where my fiancée is going to school and we are getting married."

January's Birthmom Bud of the month, Michelle is a true wordsmith, as I write this wonder if I shouldn't just let her do all of the work! Captivating and funny, this article is bound to keep you laughing from beginning to end. When asked what her hobbies were, or how she spent her time, she said " My spare time is best spent asleep!" One job that she could NOT be paid enough to do would be a Professional Foot Smeller, and "trust me, that job really exists!" As far as something strange or funny we might want to know about Michelle, she has a heart shaped birthmark on the back of her calf and has been informed that she snores.

If Michelle could have the original of anything in the world, she would want the

original light bulb that was made by Ben Franklin, now that's a piece of history worth keeping! As she considers nature and creation, she stands in awe of childbirth and pregnancy in general, "Having had two babies, I am in awe of how my body knew how to make them!" And like any true woman, the one thing she wouldn't be able to give up for the rest of her life is chocolate. So much so that her favorite food and beverage combo is coffee and chocolate!

If Michelle was bequeathed $75,000 and could donate it any charity or organization she would donate to finding a cure for all womanly cancers. If she could be a superhero, she would be Violet from the Incredibles, "because she can turn invisible and make force-fields! I mean, how cool is that!" Three words Michelle used to describe herself, "Weird, Weirder, Weirdest!"

As you can see Michelle has been a fun loving addition

to BirthMom Buds since she joined in June of 2005. She reached out to BirthMom Buds while she was in North Carolina visiting Olivia and her sister and dealing with the mixed emotions of seeing her two month old daughter for the first time since her birth. She joined her first chat while in NC and can even recall the topics we chatted about that first night! Michelle is a constant supporter in the forums, encouraging and inspiring others on a daily basis with her upbeat yet real take on adoption and life. Thank you, Michelle, for what you have contributed to BirthMom Buds in the past year! We wish you tons of luck as you move and start a new chapter in your life with your new baby and soon to be husband!

Prayers Please ~ We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list. Mary (Snowprincess in our chats) has agreed to be in charge of this section, so please send your prayer requests to her - just put "BBuds prayer request" in the subject so she won't think it's junk mail! :)

"My husband and I are going through some rough times in our marriage - looks like out of 8 years together and married twice (yes to each other LOL) this will be it for us. Please just pray things stay calm and we get through everything without much fighting (as it may be a struggle when it comes to custody). We have 3 kids we parent, and I just need lots of prayers they make it through this okay!" ~ Tamara

Please pray for fellow birthmom and staff member Brandy as she has cancer and is having surgery Jan 2nd to try to remove the cancer from her stomach.

Birthday Buds: Around her birth daughter's 1st birthday, Amy Morse had the bright idea that BirthMom Buds should give members the opportunity to announce their birthdays and their birth children's bdays in the newsletter. If you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is Feb. 21, then you need to email it to Amy by Jan. 25th! So email Amy with those March birthdays now! We hope you enjoy the new section and thanks to Amy for her help with it!

Alicia Moser's daughter Brittany turns 13 on January 11th!
Amy Morse's daughter, Kaylee celebrates her 3rd birthday on January 31st!

Founder's Corner: A new little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.

We thought it would be interesting, in light of the end of 2006 and the start of 2007, to bring you a personal best and worst of 2006.

Coley:
I start with the bad….

Yay! Now on to the good. First I must thank Coley for asking me to do this. It helped me find good things in a year that seemed to have none.

Adoption conference in Myrtle Beach with best buddy Coley. What a great great time we had! I love being with Coley and I really love talking about birthmoms!
Birthmoms Day in South Carolina; meeting new birthmoms and enjoying the company of old friends. I must say my favorite part was setting it up! We had so much fun!
My oldest son is doing good in school and reading lots. I love that he loves books like me.
Legacy (church) Camp ~ What a joy! I was counselor for the kids for a week and they learned lots and had a good time. I think I left more blessed by them. I got to see a little what Kinsey might be like times 18 girls. Lots of fun!
Being able to be with my family and friends during hard times and meeting some of my family I'd never met.
Scout's ! I'm a Cub Scout leader and I've been blessed working with 16 boys this year from camping to meeting leaders, we've learned lots and played hard!

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.

Don't ever give up on you,
for in you, is much potential and possibilities,
that the world is just waiting to see.