BirthMom Buds

Lifebooks/Scrapbooks for Our Birthchildren
By Coley Strickland 

Recently I created a scrapbook for my birthson, Charlie. I have called it a “lifebook” as it basically tells a story of my life and how his came about. Many adoption professionals are promoting the use of lifebooks for foster children and children adopted at an older age, but I think any adopted child could benefit from having a lifebook. After seeing the way my birthson and his adoptive family reacted to his lifebook, I encourage birthmothers to create a lifebook for their children either to pass on to the adoptive parents when they place their child or to give them a bit later in life.   

What is a lifebook?
A lifebook is basically a scrapbook that tells about your role in your child’s life as his/her birthmother and about your family. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It can be simply made by hand or even using your computer! It’s not so much how it looks as it is what it says. The information in it is the key!  

How do I create a lifebook?
First off, you must decide what information you’d like to include in your lifebook. (Some suggestions are included below.) Like I said before, there are no rules, no right or wrong, so the information you include in your lifebook is totally up to you.

You can choose to make your lifebook by hand in scrap booking fashion or use some of the newer computer scrap booking software. With the software you can print your pages out and place them in an album.  

Again, it doesn’t have to be fancy - it is truly the information and sentiment that counts!  

How can adopted children benefit from having a lifebook?
The lifebook constantly reaffirms your love for your child and can also make you more “real” if you are not in a totally open adoption. The adoptive parents can use the lifebook as a teaching tool to educate him or her about his birth family.

When should I give my child the lifebook?
Whenever you want! Some birthmothers begin them during pregnancy and give them to the adoptive parents upon placement. While others (like me) waited awhile to make them. Older birthmothers could also make one to give to their child upon reunification. No matter their age, a lifebook is something that will be treasured for years to come!

What age level should I gear the lifebook towards?
This is dependent upon the age you plan to give your lifebook to your child or his/her family. I didn’t complete mine until my son was 4 years old. I wrote it in a way that he could understand most of it now and not be babyish when he is a young man looking back at it. If you choose not to give your child the lifebook until he/she is older, then you can gear it towards an older child.

What are some ideas as to what I should include in my child’s lifebook?
Below are some ideas of what you can include. You may choose not to include some of the items and you may have other items you wish to add.

The options are endless!! Just be creative!!

Charlie’s adoptive parents reacted very well to the gift of the lifebook. They looked through it and learned things about me and my family they didn’t know and view it as something special given to Charlie. Since Charlie is only 4, they want to keep it put up so he doesn’t get it messed up, but they can pull it out any time he has questions or needs pictures to reaffirm whom his birth family is.

Whether you are a scrap booking queen or not, I encourage and urge you to sit down and create this lasting legacy for your birth child. Even if your child is an adult, I don’t think it’s ever to late to pass on this part of their biological history!

 

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