BirthMom Buds Bulletin
 May 2008

What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Newsletter Writers ~ We are always in need of writers for the newsletter. Please email Alicia if you are interested in writing.
Slideshow ~ Thank you to each of you for submitting pictures for the slideshow. The slideshow will debut at the BirthMom Buds Birthmother's Day event on May 10th. It will then be on the website towards the end of the May. I will get it up as soon as I can as I know that many of you are anxious to see it! I will put a link to it on the home page as soon as it is viewable!
 

                   

 

Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization,  individual, or issue.

History of Mother’s Day and Birthmother’s Day
by Coley Strickland

Contrary to what many may think, Mother’s Day was not a holiday dreamed up by executives at Hallmark in order to sell more greeting cards. The earliest of Mother’s Day Celebrations can be attributed to the Greek, but Mother’s Day made its way to the United States in 1858 when Ann Reeve Javis held the first official celebration of Mothers. In 1905, Anna Reeves Javis passed away and her daughter, Anna Javis, took up her mother's torch promising that her Mother’s lifelong dream of creating a national day to honor Mothers would come to fruition. In 1907, Anna launched her campaign by handing out flowers to the mother’s at her church in Grafton, West Virginia. Her church joined her in the campaign for a national day to honor Mothers and in 1914 Congress passed a joint resolution establishing a national Mother’s Day.

Birthmother's Day was created by a group of Seattle birthmothers in the 1990's. Their purpose was to not only educate about others about adoption and bring recognition to birthmothers but to also give birthmothers an opportunity to come together and honor the children they gave life to and then placed for adoption. Birthmother's Day is always the Saturday before Mother's Day symbolic because our (birthmothers) motherhood comes before the motherhood of another.

Just as with anything the adoption community, Birthmother's Day doesn't come without controversy. Some birthmothers do not like Birthmother's Day because they disagree with the idea of having a separate day aside from Mother's Day.

I respect that and think that whether you choose to recognize your motherhood on Birthmother's Day, Mother's Day, or both is a personal decision. Whatever day you recognize your motherhood on, I hope that it is a peaceful day for each of you!

Source for Mother's Day Information

 

                   

 

 

Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it. 

How to Survive Mother’s Day
by Alicia Moser

Mother’s day is all around us at this time of year. There are cards, gifts, television commercials, and other things that are constant reminders as to what holiday is right around the corner. Being a birthmother makes Mother’s Day a very hard day. You may have the temptation to run and hide under the covers all day, but instead of throwing your own pity party, I have a few ideas to help you get through the day.

  • Buy yourself a special gift or do something relaxing for yourself. There is not much recognition for many birthmothers on Mother’s day, so I suggest that you do something special for yourself whether it be making yourself a special breakfast, treating yourself to flowers, getting yourself a manicure and/or pedicure, buying yourself a new outfit, buying yourself candles and/or bubble bath, etc. Remember to listen to yourself and to not let anyone crowd you emotionally.

  • Write something about or for your child such as a letter, journal entry, or poem. I do all of these frequently for my daughter. I write poems, print them all out, and then hope to give them to my daughter when we reunite. If you don’t consider yourself poetic, you could try by beginning writing something for each of the letters in your child’s name. I also write letters to my daughter in a special journal I have for her. Even if you never give the letters to your child, writing can be very therapeutic.

  • Create a family tree to give to your child for your child when they are an adult or when you are reunited. I haven’t heard of doing this before but I think it would be a great gift to give to my birth daughter.

  • Light a candle in honor of your birth child.  Release a balloon or balloons in honor of your birth child.

  • Plant a tree or garden in honor of your birth child.

  • Donate books to your local library or a school library in honor of your birth child.

  • Speak out to organizations about adoption.

  • Attend a Birthmother's Day event if there is one in your area.

Whatever you decide to do on Mother’s day, remember to remember yourself, because birthmothers ARE mothers too!

 

Sources:
When Mother's Day Hurts
Birthmother's Day & Mother's Day
14 Ways for a Birthmother to Honor her Placed Child

     

                  

                   

Birthday Buds:
 If you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. So email Amy with yours or your child's birthdays. (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)

Melanie Mosberg's daughter Sarah celebrates her 4th birthday on May 17.
Jess Cronnelly's daughter celebrates her 5th birthday on May 27.
Jenifer Hulbert's daughter, Amanda, will celebrate her 12th birthday on May 31.

                

                   

 

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.

Waiting On God: A Birthmom's Hope
by Michelle

There was a time when I was full,
Full of life from within
It felt like forever but went so fast
Some say I should let it lie in the past
But how can I?

It was my heart that tore
When I handed him over through that door
For a moment I turned to look,
For my pain it shook
My soul from within.

I know they will love him
I think this is right
But this pain keeps me up at night,
Wondering if, how, when
I will ever see him again?

Will he understand
It was not my hand
That pushed him away
It was God’s plan
So I opened my hand.

I hope I pray
That on that day
My heart will be repaired
From all its pain
To share a single breath as one heart beats
No one can separate
A mother and her son,

Between us now is time and space
But I can still see his tiny face
It beams with life, joy, and peace.

God had a plan
A plan to repair
My soul from despair
I will rest for now
God will show me how
To wait on Him

 

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