BirthMom Buds Bulletin
May 2010

What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
 Become a Fan! ~ Become a fan of BirthMom Buds on Facebook and invite your friends and family to become fans too. Check out the BirthMom Buds fan page here.
Chat Room -  We're still chatting on Monday nights at 10 pm eastern in our private chatroom. In order to go into the chat room you must be a registered member of the forums and use your forum log in information. You will find the chat room listed as "live chat" on the board index page of the forums. If you have any questions or need to register as a member of the forums please do this prior to chat as we will not be able to easily access the information during chat.
Poetry ~ Have you written any poetry related to adoption? We're always looking for poetry related to adoption for the newsletter and/or the poetry page. If you've written anything, you'd like to share, please email it to us.
Newsletter Writers Needed ~ Do you enjoy reading the BirthMom Buds Bulletin? Help ensure that great newsletters still arrive in your inbox monthly by volunteering to write an article. Not a professional writer? No problem, we will help you! Check out the newsletters ideas page or email us for more information!
BirthMom Buds Buddy of 2010 ~ We have decided to start a new tradition and each year will recognize one outstanding member of BirthMom Buds for her service and dedication to working with other birthmothers through BirthMom Buds. We will announce each year's recipient at our Birthmother's Day Celebration and honor her with her very own beautiful plaque. Our very first Buddy of the Year recipient is Melanie Mosberg. Melanie is formerly our Pregnant and Placing Coordinator and handed that position over when she became our Birthmother's Day Event Coordinator three years ago. She coordinates all the logistics for the event and it just wouldn't be a success without her. Congratulations and thank you for all you do, Melanie!
 

 

Ideas and Insights: Sharing ideas, suggestions, and tips on life as a birthmom.

You Might be a Birthmom If……………
Compiled from posts in the BirthMom Buds Forums

  • You specify whether your pets are related by birth or adoption.

  • You hesitate before answering when asked if you have any children or how many children you have.

  • You check the mailbox everyday - even Sundays and holidays - just in case.

  • You constantly scan crowds for people your child's age.

  • You hug your child for the first time when he is over thirty years old.

  • You're annoyed by how unrealistic media portrayals of adoption are.

  • You live your life by the phrase "this is my new normal."

  • You buy flowers for yourself the Saturday before Mother's Day.

  • You just know you are going to scream the next time your hear someone say "I could NEVER do that!"

  • You buy a dozen different birthday cards so you can cut and paste the words to make one perfect card that says everything you've wanted to say for the past 31 birthdays you've missed.

  • Your holiday postage expense equals your holiday present expense.

  • You interrupt the conversations strangers at the next table were having when you hear them say, "she gave up her baby," just so you can correct them.

  • You are called Mommy but in a different language.

  • You stand in the store for hours trying to figure out what to get a child you barely know for Christmas.

  • You are in your fifties yet you are checking out guys in their thirties because they might be your son.

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Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization,  individual, or issue.

 

The Differences in Mother's Day
by Amy Schumaker
 

Mother's Day, it has came upon us again. For some of us we love this holiday, for some of us, we wish this day would just go away. Mother's Day is very personal for every woman. Those who have lost their mother's due to illness wish their mothers were still here to hug and celebrate such a warm day with. Those who have a disconnection with their mother due to lifestyle issues, feel as if this day would never exist. Then there are the women who are struggling with fertility issues who long for and would do anything for to be a mother to a child. Finally, there are those women who were brave enough to give birth to their child and place them into the loving arms of an adoptive mother. These women are what make up Birthmom Buds. These women are you, me, and the many other women who read this newsletter each month. 

So what can we all do as one population do for a day like Mother's Day? Well it is up to you! You make your day how you want. I asked some friends what they are doing for Mother's Day. 

"My husband will take me out to eat at my favorite pancake place, buy me flowers, and let me do what I want for the whole day." - newly married friend with a baby on the way
 
"I leave it up to my husband and kids. I never know what I am going to get each year. I like the surprise and thrill. Even if it is something that I would not have done normally, I make the best of it, because their thought is what counts. Doing something that they think I would like, is enough for me." - woman with 4 kids and one on the way 
 
"I am a birthmom who has no kids to parent, and so Mother's Day is yet another bittersweet day for me. I make the best of it by journaling and spending time with the ones I love." - birthmom of 6 years

 
As you can see...everyone spends their day differently. What will you do?? Need some ideas?? Here are some that may be pretty inexpensive. 
 
1. Call your mom (or email her) and tell her the best memory that you have of her. 
2. Write a journal entry or blog about your mom.
3. Take a walk in the park and enjoy the scenery of the flowers that are in bloom. 
4. Eat at your favorite place for dinner.
5. Get a pedicure as summer is coming soon!
6. Play your favorite music and dance around like a little kid.
7. Spend time with friends and family. 

 So Happy Mother's Day, ladies!!! I hope that you make the best of it, no matter what you do or what your husband and kids do for you!!

 

 

Birthday Buds: In this section, we will list birthdays of our members and their birth children, so if you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)

 

                           

Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list. Email Amy with your prayer requests.

  • "Rob's job situation has not got any better. Please pray that he will get a job offer soon. Also our house needs prayers as well. Please pray that someone will drive-by and see our house, want to walk through it and place an offer on the house. Lastly, pray for my own sanity through these rough trials we are facing right now." ~ Amy Shumaker

  • "Please pray for me to gain employment." ~ Kristi R.

  • "A date has been set for Noah's Scoliosis surgery - May 28th. This is considered a "brutal" surgery on a child's body and will be a tough recovery for Noah so please keep him and our entire family in your prayers. I'll be updating my personal blog with details about the surgery and recovery as we go along. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers!" ~ Coley

 

 

Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.


 Hello Friends!
 This year's Birthmother's Day event was just awesome! Each year seems to get bigger and better than the last. We had a lot of women come in front out of town this year - some from as far away as California and Utah so once again activities were planned for both Friday and Saturday nights with a "Farewell Brunch" on Sunday morning although we did have a number of women come only for the main event on Saturday.

This year's theme was The Mad Hatter's Tea Party complete with "topsy turvy" fake cake centerpieces and a tea cup for each lady to take home with her. We dined on adorable  Mad Hatter themed cupcakes compliments of The Blushing Bakeshop Friday night and ended lunch with a big hot pink topsy turvy cake from The Wow Factor Cakes.

Throughout the day, birthmothers in attendance were able to participate in two of our four breakout sessions, release a balloon for their child, partake in a candlelight ceremony, make a picture frame, listen to different triad members speak and more.

It was definitely a day full of laughter and tears. We had birthmothers with children under a year old and birthmothers with children in their forties in attendance so it was a diverse group but each lady walked away with something she didn't have or know before she walked in the doors. I think one of the attendees, Michelle R. from California, summed it up best when she explained that she had told her boyfriend that these tears she cried with us were a different type of tears than those she shed at home - they were healing tears.

Thank you to each and every one of you who helped make the event possible and big thanks to our event coordinator, Melanie Mosberg. Thanks to all the ladies in attendance - each of you are why this year's event was memorable and a success!

Hugs,

Coley

 

 

Birthmother Support Groups: We've added this feature to our monthly newsletters in the hopes that it will connect you with local birthmother support groups if that is something that you are searching for. While we believe the support you'll find at BirthMom Buds is invaluable, we also believe that the support that you'll find at a live support group meeting other birthmothers face to face is just as invaluable.  This list is going to start off short but hopefully, it will grow over time as more people find out about it and as more people begin to form support groups for birthmothers in their local communities.

California
Group Name: On Your Feet Foundation
San Francisco Bay Area
Contact Name: Roseangela
Meetings: Meetings are scheduled periodically throughout the year. Please contact Roseangela for more information.

Group Name: Bethany Christian Services of Southern California
La Mirada, CA
Contact Name: Katie Monroe
Meetings: The group is open to any birthmothers not just birthmothers who placed through Bethany. The group meets the fourth Monday every other month. For more information please contact Katie at kmonroe@bethany.org or (714)994-0500.
 

Indiana
Carmel (Northern Suburb of Indianapolis)
Group Name: Birthmother Support Group
Meetings: Meetings are held at the Adoptions of Indiana Office located at 1980 East  116 Street Suite 325 Carmel, Indiana 46032. The group is held quarterly on the 4th Thursdays of January, April, July, and October from 6:30pm to 8pm.
Contact: Natalie Stevens at 317-574-8950 x 103 or email her at nstevens@ad-in.org. 
Additional Information: Any Indiana birthmothers are welcome to attend regardless of whether or not they placed using Adoptions of Indiana.

North Carolina
Charlotte Area
Group Name: PAGE (Post Adoption Group Encouragement)
Meetings: Meeting times and locations vary each month.  
Contact: Meg Edison Smith at 704-995-6435 or email at pagegroup@yahoo.com

Pennsylvania
Franklin Area
Group Name: Healing Hearts 
Meetings:  Every Thursday from 6pm to 7:30pm at Hand in Hand Christian Counseling Office at 150 Prospect Ave, Suite 302, Franklin, PA 16323
Contact: Keri Jacoby for more information at kerijacoby@yahoo.com

Wisconsin
 Madison Area
Group Name: Birthmother Support Group
Meetings: 2nd Tuesday of Every Month from 6:00 - 7:30 PM at 6314 Odana Road in Madison
 Contact: Trish Grant at 1-888-485-7385 ext. 109 or email her at tgrant@ccmadison.org



 

                         

 

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.

These Women
by Leigh Harding
(read at Birthmother's Day 2010)

A sigh in the night
A tear down the cheek
The computer goes on
 Because she can't sleep.

The words come out
 As the tears flow
There is only one place
 She knows she can go.

 Where the words don't sound strange,
The language isn't foreign
And there is someone there
 Who has been where she is going.

 Because of their present
They may not know what to say
But the words that are written are
 Honest and true.

 These Women,
These Friends,
These Sisters.

 No matter what we call ourselves
We are tied to the one word
 that will always bind us together:
Birthmother.


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