BirthMom Buds Bulletin
October 2006
What's new with
BirthMom Buds:
Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are
doing.
Turn Trash into Cash for BBuds ~ Fellow member Joyce B. has brought an
exciting fundraising opportunity to us. By simply turning in our old cell
phones and used printer cartridges,
Cartridges for Kids,
will make monetary donations to BirthMom Buds. BBuds uses monetary donations
for shipping on the care packages, toll free phone bill, website fees, etc.
If you have an old cell phone or ink cartridges lying around,
email Joyce and she'll send you a pre-paid postal envelope. This is so
easy - why not tell your friends and family about this too!
Chat Night ~ We have chats for birthmothers and pregnant women
considering adoption on Monday nights at 10 pm eastern. Chats are hosted in a
private yahoo chat room by invite only, simply IM Coley, Lani, or Suzi. Sign
up for a weekly reminder on the
chat page to be
reminded of chats and find out who is hosting chat that night.
New Showcase Page ~ Check out the new showcase page for
Amanda B.
Writers needed for upcoming special editions ~ We need writers
for upcoming special holiday editions of the newsletter. November will focus
on Thanksgiving and National Adoption Awareness Month and December will of
course focus on Christmas. If you are interested in writing for the
newsletter, please email Alicia.
We can help you come up with topics and you don't have to be the world's best
writer to write, just have a heart for adoption topics. See the
Newsletter Ideas
page for more ideas.
Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue.
Let's Talk Adoption
by Alicia Moser
"Let's Talk Adoption" is not just a topic to be discussed between people in the midst of conversation anymore. It is also a radio show that is on the internet weekly. This wonderful weekly chat radio show is hosted by Mardie Caldwell. Mardie is very active in the adoption community. Her background in adoption goes back a long way.
Since 1986, Mardie Caldwell has been
dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill
their dreams. She is a verified Open Adoption Practitioner, author of
AdoptingOnline.com, and the founder of the Lifetime Adoption Facilitation
Center and the Lifetime Foundation. Mardie says, "Many years ago, my husband
and I searched for a child to adopt. We didn't know how or where to get
started. Through research, determination, and prayer, our dream of a family
became a reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring
adoption consultant and a lot of hard work because this was my family I was
building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having
children was worse."
"Within weeks, we had three different birthmothers choose us. We were
overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events took place before our
adoption would be finalized. Little did I know then, that God was training and
aligning me for the adoption work I do now."
Mardie is an author and expert in the field of adoption. She has appeared on
CNN, Dr. Laura, and numerous other radio and TV Shows. She has been quoted and
consulted for print articles in numerous publications including Parenting and
Adoptive Families magazines as well as newspapers around the country. In
addition to founding Lifetime Adoption, Mardie has created the Lifetime
Foundation, dedicated to providing education through scholarships for
birthmothers who chose adoption for their infants and children.
Her radio show, Let's Talk Adoption, has had a variety of guests that all have
shared their experiences with adoption from adoption lawyers to birthmothers.
Quite a few birthmothers have been guests on Let's Talk Adoption. Birthmother
Lee Ezell, author of The Missing Piece, shared her story of being brutally
raped and placing her baby girl for adoption. Michelle Thoof shares her
unplanned pregnancy and adoption story and how God worked in her life. Other
topics birthmothers have discussed are "why I chose a Caucasian family to
adopt my baby" as well as unplanned and crisis pregnancy stories and tips on
making adoption plans. Also, one of our lovely founders, Coley Strickland, was
interviewed on the radio show last year, and most recently, one of our staff
members, Melanie Mosberg was interviewed and her Let's Talk Adoption interview
aired on Sept. 17. Melanie discussed how she came to choose adoption and
mainly focused on how to deal with life in the first year of being a new
birthmother. Melanie is a wonderful part of BirthMom Buds and I am glad she is
here and she does a great job with the Pregnant and Placing Program.
Let's Talk Adoption has archives on the website and you can find many of the
interviews with the birthmothers mentioned in this article in the archives.
Unfortunately, Melanie's interview is not in the archives yet, but hopefully
will be soon. Mardie puts a lot of hard work and time into her radio show, the
interviews, and the site, and it shows.
Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it.
What Inspires You
by Leigh Harding
I saw a movie a few months ago and the ending stayed with me. The last scene of In Her Shoes had Cameron Diaz reading the poem, I Carry Your Heart, by E.E Cummings:
“I carry your heart
with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,
my darling”
I just put it in the back of my mind and just let it rest there. I recently went through a really bad month so I pulled it out after a session with Eleanor (my adoption counselor) in which we talked about what inspires me to help me “move the energy” when I notice that I am feeling down.
Was there something I always wanted to try but haven’t? Was there something that I loved to do but haven’t done for awhile? I thought about trying yoga but you know I have a problem trying to “quiet” my mind and relax for that. So I went and posed the question< “What inspires you” to some friends and this is what they had to say.
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Michelle M.: “Being left alone or reading something that I’m interested in. Finding some really great “woman power” songs and blasting them.” |
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Amanda: “Dave Matthews Band – I have to recommend “Weekend on the Rocks: Live at Red Rocks” |
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Debbie: “Working with the little 4 and 5 years old in early childhood education. The little ones “ohh” and “ahh” at the simplest of stories – so appreciative of the little arts and crafts, songs, and games we do with them.” |
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Keri : “Listening to music, take a long walk with my dogs or go into my studio and stamp or scrapbook.” |
What I came to realize while looking at everything I like to do is that I really just needed to make some time for “me” and the things that I like to do. I came to realize that my inspirations are: reading a really good book (Harry Potter), journaling (some days I can get started and not stop for a number of pages). I pulled out my counted cross stitch that had been gathering dust on my couch; this one is for me and not for anyone else. I started burning CD’s with all of my favorite songs from my favorite’s artists and have started playing them at home instead of watching TV or throwing in a movie. I jump online and spend some time with my favorite sites: pogo games and the bmom forums.
I have started to talk about Jessica more: at work, with my friends, with Eleanor. Right now my latest inspiration was when Eleanor asked me if I would want to talk to potential adoptive parents about my story and Jessica and I told her “yes”. What better way to be inspired then to help someone else understand what we go thru.
So my question to you is what inspires you on those days where you are starting to feel overwhelmed with everything?
Buddy of the Month: All of you are appreciated, but each month we will spotlight a different involved member. You can also nominate fellow BirthMom Buds who you think deserve to be buddy of the month. For more info or to nominate a friend, visit the Buddy of the Month Page.
Her first date was spent picking strawberries at age 14 with Todd Wilson, and she plays the flute. Any guesses as to who is October’s Birthmom Bud of the Month? Enough guessing, it’s Leigh Harding!
Leigh loves to sing, and you can catch her in the act “Everywhere except for Broadway, I know that my voice is not that good and I won’t embarrass myself.” Leigh has a great sense of humor and a vibrant laugh, with her favorite TV show being Friends. Some people love peanut butter and jelly or ham and cheese, but Leigh’s favorite combination is cold pizza and orange juice!
She also has a sensitive side, her two favorite movies are “What Dreams May Come, because it shows that love is a tying feeling and holds us and Dead Poets Society, because it teaches you to think for yourself and don’t let others do it for you.”
Leigh is full of surprises, her favorite cartoon character is Garfield, and if she could design her own cuckoo clock, it would have a Lighthouse fog horn to announce the hours. Being the Lighthouse lover that she is, if she could ever have a building or an institution named after her, it would be a New England Lighthouse! When asked what the one thing in life is that she couldn’t give up, she said, “Dark chocolate, I mean studies now show it is good for you!!!” But dark chocolate and lighthouses aren’t all that Leigh loves.
Leigh would pick John Cusak to be the Grand Marshall at any parade and has personally had the pleasure of meeting Scott Hamilton and Todd Eldridge, whom she claims are the most interesting people she has ever met. Of all things, Leigh is most in awe of nature, “I mean to look at a hurricane as it is passing over you, blizzards, and thunderstorms.”
Most of us think if we could have the original of anything, we would pick something like, the first edition of a book, or an original Babe Ruth rookie card, but not Leigh. Her heartfelt response was, “An original copy of my Great grandmother times 10 book of poems that was published in the late 1600’s.” Keeping in the early year’s theme, if Leigh could take anything back to show her ancestors it would be a digital camera, now that’s a Kodak moment.
A
woman after our own hearts, if she inherited $75,000 she would donate the
money to
“Birthmom Buds, American Cancer Society and Alzheimer’s
Association of America.”
Leigh joined BirthMom Buds about a year ago and has been active ever since. She is birthmom to Jessica, two years old, open adoption. She frequently shares her poetry on the Inspiration page and writes for the newsletter. She is a moderator in the forums and encourages and supports other birthmoms in the forums on a regular basis. She just recently decided she was ready to become a mentor. And she was a huge, huge help in finishing the BirthMom Buds cookbook so quickly!
As you can see, this month’s buddy of the month is thoughtful, loving, funny, and charitable. Thank you again Leigh for all of your help at Birthmom Buds!
Prayers Please ~ We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list. Mary (Snowprincess in our chats) has agreed to be in charge of this section, so please send your prayer requests to her - just put "BBuds prayer request" in the subject so she won't think it's junk mail! :)
"I would like to get as many prayers as
we can for our troops in Iraq and everywhere overseas. My brother is currently
serving in Iraq. He has and is enduring quite a bit of struggle out there. He
has been shot at and been forced to shoot back. And continues to encounter
'hostile' acts toward the US military. He is on the 'Front lines'. Please keep
him and all of our men and women serving our country in your prayers. You
don't have to support our government to Support Our Troops. Don't forget those
that are surrounded by the enemy 24 hrs a day. It's easy to forget them when
it's not someone you know. But I am urging everyone, to please take the time
to stop and think for a minute. What would you do if it was your brother? Or
your husband? Or your cousin? Or your father? Or your sister? Or your wife?
Don't forget our Soldiers. Please continue to pray for everyone one of their
safe return home. Thank You. It's really disheartening to see what my brother
is/has gone through already. He has been there since March and was able to
come home on a 2 week leave about a month ago. He had changed so much in that
time!! And now he has until next March before he can come home again." ~
Jenifer Hulbert
"Please pray for my friend Simone, who is going through tests to see if she
has cancer.Thanks!" ~ Mary
"Please keep my Mom in your prayers as she will be having major knee surgery
following with a five day hospital stay on October 9th." ~ Coley
Birthday Buds:
Around
her birth daughter's 1st birthday, Amy Morse had the bright idea that BirthMom
Buds should give members the opportunity to announce their birthdays and their
birth children's bdays in the newsletter. If you would like to have your
birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please
email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of
the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is March
21, then you need to email it to Amy by Feb 25th! So
email Amy with those March birthdays now! We hope you enjoy the new
section and thanks to Amy for her help with it!
Michelle Montgomery turns 23 on
October 13th.
Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.
Coley
turned the big three-oh on September 16. Her family and friends threw a big
80's themed bash to celebrate. A lot of you BirthMom Buds either lived
through the 80's or grew up in the 80's and if you didn't, we are sure
you've heard about the trends of the infamous 80's. We thought this month
we'd share about our favorite memories of the 80's and share a few pics from
Coley's Child of the 80's birthday party.
Coley:
My favorite
memories of the 80's are lip synching in the living room with
friends, slumber parties, Punky Brewster, Jams, Care Bears, sticker books,
jelly shoes, wearing candy cane leg warmers in the Christmas parade,
converse tennis shoes, and lucky rabbits feet to name a few. And although
it's a sad memory, I'll never forget the Challenger explosion.
Few more of my faves:
Music: Anything Madonna - Although I could not have a tape with the
song Like a Virgin on it. (Remember tapes!)
Candy: Big Leauge Chew, bubble tape, and whoppers
Hairstyle: Big bow in my hair and to the side, of course!
Cartoon: Smurfs and Care Bears
Lani:
Some of my favorite times in the 80's were my friends and I dancing with
brushes, trying all the new moves of Madonna, Vanilla Ice videos, and the
days when MTV played music videos only. We would even put on our dads dress
shirts and slide across the floor in socks like Tom Cruise.
Few
more of my faves:
Favorite music: I really love all the girls/girl type music from
Madonna (the younger days) to Blondie.
Candy: nerds and blow pops - yummy!
Hair style: side pony tail and loved hair spray - Had to use the hair
spray at school as my Dad didn't like the idea of chemicals in my hair, LOL
Favorite cartoon : He-Man and She-Ra - My dad only let us see it when
he was in the room so he could pick it apart and make sure we got the moral
views of it.
Inspiration:
Little
things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging
words.
Two Women
by Lori Coleman, adoptive mother
written for and in honor of her children's birthmothers
Two women cry into the night,
their eyes are filled with tears.
Oh God why is this happening?
I need to feel you near.
One woman sits alone in the darkness,
Decisions she must make.
She wants to do what's best for the child,
It's life she cannot take.
The other woman clings to her mate
And she doesn't understand
why they can't have a child of their own
as so many others can.
These women come from different worlds.
Their lives are miles apart.
But God would deliver the pain they felt
and heal their broken hearts.
And then one precious morning
their lives became intertwined.
Both women's prayers were answered
as they felt God's plan unwind.
One woman touched her newborn's cheek
and whispered to the babe,
"Because I love you little one,
sacrifices I've made."
With the strength she felt from heaven,
to the other woman she gave
the miracle of a baby
for her to love and raise.
The other woman looked down
at her precious baby's eyes
and thanked God for the woman
who had helped fulfill her life.
Two woman pray into the night
and thank the Lord above
for the opportunity he's given them
to feel a Mother's love.
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