What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing.
Cookbook ~ Thanks to all of you who contributed a recipe for the BirthMom Bud's Cookbook, Made with Love. We will probably begin pre-selling them in mid/late September. So watch your email for more info!
Turn Trash into Cash for BBuds ~ Fellow member Joyce B. has brought an exciting fundraising opportunity to us. By simply turning in our old cell phones and used printer cartridges, Cartridges for Kids, will make monetary donations to BirthMom Buds. BBuds uses monetary donations for shipping on the care packages, toll free phone bill, website fees, etc.  If you have an old cell phone or ink cartridges lying around, email Joyce and she'll send you a pre-paid postal envelope. This is so easy - why not tell your friends and family about this too!
Chat Night ~ We have chats for birthmothers and pregnant women considering adoption on Monday nights at 10 pm eastern. Chats are hosted in a private yahoo chat room by invite only, simply IM Coley, Lani, or Suzi. Sign up for a weekly reminder on the chat page to be reminded of chats and find out who is hosting chat that night.
Writers needed ~ If you are interested in writing for the newsletter, please email Alicia. We can help you come up with topics and you don't have to be the world's best writer to write, just have a heart for adoption topics. See the Newsletter Ideas page for more ideas.

   

Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization,  individual, or issue.

Tapestry Books: What It Can Do For You
By Suzi Thompson 

Recently, I was able to look through a list of websites designed specifically for those of us involved with adoption. I was amazed by the amount of products and businesses that are available if you are willing to search around.

During my search I was particularly interested in one site: Tapestry Books. Tapestry Books is an online bookstore that specializes in adoption.

At Tapestry Books you can find resources available to you that can help you gain in your search for healing. Some of these include a book on writing the first letter to the adoptive parents or your birth child. Yet another is available helping to recognize the stages of grief. Both of these books have helpful stories and letters in them for yet another reassuring source that you are not alone.

On the other hand if you are looking for that special gift for your birth child there is an assortment of books available for purchase helping to explain adoption. Most of these books explain that the children who make the triad are special and receive love from both adoptive and birth parents.

Every way you look at it Tapestry books has adoption covered. If you are having a hard time finding just that right thing to help you, check it out.

Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it. 

Back to School Birthmoms
By Jenifer Hulburt

Deciding to go back to school can de a daunting task for anyone, especially when you have just placed your child for adoption and are going back to school broken hearted or if you are going back after years of a “hiatus.”

Adoption is a touchy subject and is going to be treated differently by anyone/everyone you come into contact with.  I have learned that it’s important not to judge people, because we don’t know their history on why they feel about certain topics that they do.  Adoption brings about emotions in people that I never imagined possible.  When deciding to go back to school, it can be really difficult.  As a birthmom who has recently gone back to college after 10 years, I think there are some important things to keep in mind.

Here are a few pointers as you head back to school:

Foundation - It is important to make sure that you have a solid foundation to step back into ‘normal’ life through counseling, support, and information.

Positive people – It is important to make sure that you surround yourself with positive people.  After my daughters adoption I had people that I thought were my friends, turn out not to be good friends at all. After finding BirthMom Buds and finally being able to connect with others who really knew what I’d been through, I have been able to grow and actually move forward with my life. 

Be prepared –  If you are going right back to school after having your baby, people will have obviously known you are pregnant and may have questions. Be prepared for these nosey questions and think ahead of time what you may want to say.

Writing assignments – Occasionally you may have creative writing assignments that may open the door for you to share your adoption experience. Remember you may have to read this aloud and it may be read by many, so only share what you are comfortable sharing with everyone.

Achieve your dreams - Perhaps you had to put off your education due to pregnancy, but it’s always good to try and achieve your dreams. Personally, I have finally discovered what I want to do with my life.  It’s taken a long time… but I finally know what I want. 

 Online courses - Taking online courses is a great way to ease back into school.  The time factor is the greatest part of online courses.  I still have deadlines and times to finish assignments, but I can do it on my time throughout the week.   Another great aspect to taking an online course that I have discovered is, it’s less intimidating.  It can be very tough to decide to go back to school, especially being older.  I was proud when I went to the school to get my ID card, but relieved when I didn’t have to step inside of a classroom and face the ‘younger kids’ yet.  Due to my major I will have to go back to a classroom setting to complete my degree, but I can get used to teachers, homework and corresponding with other students online first.

Heading back to school has been tough, but having a goal to focus on is helpful.  I hope that you can find peace in knowing that you are working for something.  Knowing that I have a goal keeps me going.  I never got to sit through a long and boring graduation ceremony, due to my pregnancy, but knowing that at the end of this journey I will be able to do that is a true testament to my ‘moving on’ and being able to grow from my past.  It is a testament to my daughter and the decision I made 10 years ago, to place her with a loving family for adoption.  May you find peace and success in your decision and journey to go back to school!

                           


Buddy of the Month: All of you are appreciated, but each month we will spotlight a different involved member. You can also nominate fellow BirthMom Buds who you think deserve to be buddy of the month. For more info or to nominate a friend, visit the Buddy of the Month Page.

September's Buddy of the Month
~ Cindy Abrams~

Lani and I first met Cindy Abrams at the 21st Annual SC Counsel for Adoptable Children. It was at lunch, the first day of the conference and Lani and knew no one but each other. I saw Cindy and said she looked nice, let’s go eat with her. So we had lunch with Cindy. Cindy asked where we were from, meeting what company or organization did we represent and when we said BirthMom Buds, she was excited. She’d heard of BirthMom Buds prior to the conference and had already signed up to be at our Birthmother’s Day event the following weekend.  

After learning more about BirthMom Buds and attending our Bmom’s Day Celebration, Cindy joined and immediately found a nitche’ in the mentoring program. Her gentle style and adoption education has made Cindy an ideal mentor. Cindy placed her son, Ian, in an open adoption after his birth in February of 1998. She knew that she could not provide for him the way that she wanted to. She was 18 at the time of placement. She has a very open adoption, an honest and loving  relationship with Ian’s adoptive mom, and sees him about 5 times a year. He lives in North Carolina while Cindy resides in South Carolina. 

I’d describe Cindy as a simple girl who loves reading, playing poker, and playing with her dogs. She has a great heart and love for her dogs.  If her cuckoo clock could have something other than a cuckoo clock, it’d be a dog and her favorite television show is the Dog Whisper.

Cindy also has a love for lighthouses and would love to have one named after her someday. When asked the question, “They say a picture is worth a thousand words, what is the one place you have seen that only a picture can adequately describe?” Cindy replied, “The lighthouses on the Outer Banks.”

 If she could choose her own marshal for a parade it’d be – can we say hubba, hubba girls – Vin Diesel and he also her top pick on a hot male celebrity she’d date.  

Cindy would love to be Wonder Woman so she could help everyone which is probably why her self titled autobiography would be called A Selfless Act.  Cindy describes herself as caring, quiet, and giving. If she could be another person for another day, she’d choose to be Donald Trump and give all his money away to help others!

Cindy is currently in school at the University of South Carolina in Greenville South Carolina, where she resides with her boyfriend. She hopes to have her Masters in 2007 and plans to continue working in adoptions. She wants to continue working with birthmothers and adoptive families and to be able to truly help them through the adoption process.

We are pleased to have you as and asset to our mentoring program and are even more pleased to have you as September’s Buddy of the Month! 

 

Prayers Please ~ We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list.  Mary (Snowprincess in our chats) has agreed to be in charge of this section, so please send your prayer requests to her - just put "BBuds prayer request" in the subject so she won't think it's junk mail! :)

"I would like to get as many prayers as we can for our troops in Iraq and everywhere overseas. My brother is currently serving in Iraq. He has and is enduring quite a bit of struggle out there. He has been shot at and been forced to shoot back. And continues to encounter 'hostile' acts toward the US military. He is on the 'Front lines'. Please keep him and all of our men and women serving our country in your prayers. You don't have to support our government to Support Our Troops. Don't forget those that are surrounded by the enemy 24 hrs a day. It's easy to forget them when it's not someone you know. But I am urging everyone, to please take the time to stop and think for a minute. What would you do if it was your brother? Or your husband? Or your cousin? Or your father? Or your sister? Or your wife? Don't forget our Soldiers. Please continue to pray for everyone one of their safe return home. Thank You." ~ Jenifer Hulbert, proud sister to a solider!

"If you could please put me up on the prayer request list yet still. I had a hysterectomy on the 25th of July and am still at home, trying to recover. It went well for the most part.  It's hard not being able to help tend to our 3 kids, but thank goodness my husband was able to take a couple of weeks off to help!!! Thank you so much." ~ Tamara

"Hello I am Denise the birthmother of Jacob who will be 16 in Dec. I am having some health issues right now. I have a tumor on each kidney and I have to go Aug. 24 for a second opinion. I was told there is a chance it could be kidney cancer. Please put me on your prayer request. Thanks!" ~ Denise

"Please keep my birthson, Jim, and his group in your prayers as they begin a year tour in Iaq." ~ Bonnie

"Please pray for my Mom's friend, Rose, who just had her 2nd child, a healthy baby girl in August. She began experiencing uterine bleeding and high temperatures and is now in the hospital having convulsions and coming in and out of consciousness. She also has a three year old little boy. Please pray for Rose, hubby, and both children." ~ Coley

   

Birthday Buds: Around her birth daughter's 1st birthday, Amy Morse had the bright idea that BirthMom Buds should give members the opportunity to announce their birthdays and their birth children's bdays in the newsletter. If you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is March 21, then you need to email it to Amy by Feb 25th! So email Amy with those March birthdays now! We hope you enjoy the new section and thanks to Amy for her help with it!

Happy Birthday to all of our September Birthdays!
Coley turnns the big 3-oh on Sept. 16th.
Lani's birthdaughter, Kinsey, celebrates her 5th birthday on Sept. 16th.
Jessica, birthmom to Jenna, celebrates her birthday on Sept 17th.
Coley's birthson, Charlie, celebrates his 5th birthday on Sept 20th.

 

Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.

Every September, we share pictures of our birthchildren, Kinsey and Charlie, as they both celebrate birthdays in September. Kinsey (Lani's birthdaughter) on the 16th and Charlie (Coley's birthson) on the 20th - will be both be FIVE YEARS OLD! It's hard for us to believe that it was five years ago we held newborns in our arms and lovingly placed them in the arms and hearts of their adoptive families. We have been blessed to remain a part of their lives through occasional visits, pictures, emails, and phone calls, yet we still missed the tender moments. This year has been neat because our children are starting to realize our relationship to them. In the coming years, they will grow to know more and have more questions, but for now, we just celebrate, you Charlie and Kinsey, and the innocence of being FIVE!

Happy Birthday, baby boy and baby girl!

~ Coley and Lani ~

 

                           

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.
 

Prayer for My Birthdaughter
 -By Tracy Moser-
With this heart that's broken
And through these tears - I pray
Words won't be left unspoken
And we will meet someday. 

Daughter I should have known
When we were torn apart,
She took with her - my heart.

Lord, let her know I love her
And keep her safe from harm
My precious little daughter
Please hold her in your arms.

 

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