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BirthMom Buds Bulletin
What's new with BirthMom
Buds: Just a
little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it.
When to Talk and When to Walk As a birthmother I am sure you have heard and will continue to hear the opinions and advice of others regarding your decision to place your child for adoption. While many times people can be supportive, there are other times in which people can make negative responses that upset or hurt you. Learning how to deal with these situations will help you be able to get through them when they arise. Below are a few suggestions on how to handle negative opinions and reactions from others.
Once the conversation is over, if you are still all riled up, talk with other birthmothers (like in our forums!) about how you handled the particular conversation. Knowing that you are not the only one who has dealt with questions, comments, and opinions about being a birthmother is comforting.
Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue. Review of MTV’s
True Life- “I’m Placing My Baby for Adoption” Adoption is becoming more and more part of the media via newspapers, magazines, television, and movies. Some of them are more realistic than others, while others are mainly created for entertainment purposes. On March 21st, MTV aired an episode of their True Life documentary show featuring two expectant mothers who were considering adoption for their unborn babies titled “True Life: I’m Placing my Baby for Adoption.” In this documentary, two young ladies, Kayla and Amanda, were featured. Both of them were experiencing unplanned pregnancies and each struggled over the decision of parenting or placing their unborn baby for adoption. Kayla was considering placing her daughter with family members, Dale and Michaela. She had trouble making the decision for sure but she knew she did not financially have the means to care for her daughter at that time in her life and struggled with drug problems. After her baby was born, Kayla took the time she needed to make sure she made the decision that was best for her and her daughter, Bella, by keeping her for some nights to see what that was like and spent some nights without her to see what that would be like. She weighed all the options and did a lot of soul searching and ultimately decided to place baby Bella in an open adoption with Dale and Michaela. Kayla visits with Dale, Michaela, and Bella about two to three times a month and Kayla has even spent the night and took care of Bella so Dale and Michaela could get some sleep, stayed with Dale and Michaela for a week and watched them parent Bella, and she also pumped her breast milk for Bella for four months. Since she placed Bella with Dale and Michaela, Kayla has been working to get her GED so she can go to college, has been making friends, has been sober for over a year, and hopes to meet a good guy in the future and have more children, and despite all of this good stuff that is going on, she does of course feel bad that she is not the one raising Michaela.
Watching True Life was definitely a different experience from watching other shows about adoption. They showed the emotions and feelings of everyone involved, the potential adoptive parents and the potential birth parents, which other shows try to do, but often leave them out of the equation. After watching this hour long show, I saw the feelings and viewpoints of all involved in an unbiased and unprejudiced fashion. The producers of True Life truly respected everyone involved and I look forward to watching other future shows they may have about adoption in the future.
Sources:
Birthday Buds: In this section, we will list birthdays of our members and their birth children, so if you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)
Leah O.
celebrates her birthday on September 11th.
Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or
your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on
anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And
if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list.
Email Amy
with your prayer requests. "Please pray that I find employment soon." ~ Kristi R.
Founder's Corner:
A little
section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their
lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.
Time is just flying by and it's really hard to beleive that our children are now turning eight. It seems like yesterday that we had just given birth, placed our babies in the arms of their adoptive mothers and in turn, became birthmothers lost and searching for one another. Birthdays for us are bittersweet. While we are grateful to be a part of Kinsey's and Charlie's lives at the same time it is heartbreaking because we are not the ones raising them. Luckily though, we have each other to turn to on both the happy and sad days as well as all of you. Knowing that we are not alone and that we are surrounded by others who are walking the same path makes the load a little easier to bear.
We're hoping
that our kiddos have the best 8th birthday ever!
Birthmother Support Groups: We've added this feature to our monthly newsletters in the hopes that it will connect you with local birthmother support groups if that is something that you are searching for. While we believe the support you'll find at BirthMom Buds is invaluable, we also believe that the support that you'll find at a live support group meeting other birthmothers face to face is just as invaluable. This list is going to start off short but hopefully, it will grow over time as more people find out about it and as more people begin to form support groups for birthmothers in their local communities.
California
Indiana
North
Carolina
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin
Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.
My Heart
My heart ached as I placed you into the arms of another
Through open adoption we still see each other
Newsletter Archives
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Once
again, September has rolled around. As most of you know, September is
the month that both of our children celebrate their birthdays. This
year, both Charlie and Kinsey will turn 8 years old.