Alicia's Showcase Page

to Alicia's Page!

March 1st 1993, I met Christopher Michael Byrd in Woodbridge, Virginia through a mutual friend. I had recently broke up with a another guy named Christopher and was in a guy-hating mood. There is not much I can recall about that night except for the fact that he offered me a piece of gum and that I told him I don't like gum. And that night we had a five hour conversation on the phone. I quickly thought that we were in love, but I only think he cared about me, because his main concern was for himself in our relationship. I think I stayed with him for so long because I always held out hope that would change, he was my first time, and, because when we got married on June 21, 1993, I was three months pregnant.

January 11, 1994- Our firstborn, Brittany Ann Marie Byrd was born at 6:33 am after two-and-a-half hours and three minutes of labor. She was born in Colorado Springs, Colorado at Memorial Hospital. She weighed 7lbs. 9 oz. and was 21 and 1/4 inches long. And, of course we thought she was beautiful and that we would never see a baby that beautiful ever again.

January 17, 1994- My ex husband and I had a disagreement. Though I was never diagnosed, I believe I was suffering from post partum depression. The landlord where we were staying called the police cause she thought we were too loud and the police came and took my ex husband to jail. I do not remember much of that night, but I do remember that.

January 31, 1994- We went to court on the case and I wanted to get a place for Brittany and I to stay. The courts wanted us to stay with Brittany's grandma and her husband because I was still having some problems with post partum depression. We could not come to an agreement, so they put Brittany in foster care. I did not know at that time our lives changed forever Our first caseworker, Sue Fisher, said "Say goodbye to your daughter Alicia."

We were not allowed visits with Brittany for a month, and still there were times when when we would wait on her for an hour or two just to see her, and then other times, they would not show up with her at all. When we did get visits we were only allowed supervised visits at the Family Visitation Center where they had a staff to supervise us and other families that were visiting their children. We were also supervised by our caseworker, and from time to time, Brittany's lawyer. We had weekly visits with Brittany and those precious moments were the highlights of our lives.

After two weeks in a receiving foster home, Brittany was moved to a foster-adopt home. In Colorado, there are two kinds of foster homes: a temporary foster home, and an adoptive foster home. Brittany was placed in an adoptive foster home, where the foster parents are guaranteed they will adopt the child. I am still unsure of why they placed Brittany in a foster-adopt home but they did. She has lived with them ever since except for a five week visit with my ex-husband, Michaela and I when we lived in Dallas, Texas.

The next year was a jumble of visits with Brittany and court appearances. We became well known at the at the Family Visitation Center, and one of their staff was on our side, but two of them were against us. In court, my former in-laws became interested parties and so did Brittany's foster parents. They also obtained their own lawyer, to fight to adopt Brittany.

In April of 1994, we moved to Dallas, Texas because the job market and housing availability was very bad in Colorado Springs. We knew that we would never have a chance of getting Brittany back in Colorado Springs. A month later we had jobs and stable housing. We took a parenting class and made numerous trips to Colorado Springs to visit Brittany. That was not enough for them though.

And then, we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter. Michaela Lynn Byrd was born on January 31, 1995 at 7:51 pm after fourteen hours of labor. She weighed nine pounds, seven ounces and was nineteen and a quarter inches long. Coincidentally, this was the same day that Brittany was placed into foster care exactly a year beforehand.

In June of 1995, my ex-husband and I took a month off our jobs to visit Brittany for a month to reestablish bonding and have visits with her everyday for a month. If the visits worked out, we could obtain temporary custody of Brittany for a month. And, if that worked out, we would obtain permanent custody of her.

After the month of visits was complete, we FINALLY got to take both of our daughter's home. Finally, we thought it was over until her foster parents obtained a week long visit with Brittany, but my former in-laws got it reduced to a one-day visit by telling the judge she had plans to visit her great-grandparents in Powderly, Texas.

Family life was going okay until Brittany's foster parents went to court and told the judge a lot of lies. They said she had lost a lot of weight (turned out to be a half an ounce), and she only lost that because she was learning how to walk. They also told the judge that she was very sick, when, in reality, she was recovering from an ear infection. Then, out of the blue, after Brittany being there for five weeks, my lawyer called and told me that our caseworker from Colorado was coming to get Brittany and take her back to Colorado.

Since then, we have been able to visit Brittany twice. In December 1995, we visited her for a week, and in February 1996, we went to Colorado Springs for three days and was only allowed one visit with Brittany.

In July 1996, we took a Greyhound bus twenty-fours each way from Sherman, Texas to Colorado Springs. We stayed there for three days. Our second day there we were in court for eight hours with our eighteen month old daughter, Michaela, and our parental rights were terminated. I am relieved that her adoptive parents were not there. That would have made it so much worse. That was the worst day of our lives. We lost our firstborn daughter in the cruelest, most drawn out way possible. We also lost the appeal with our new lawyer.

In the fall of 1996, Brittany's parents who are named Jamie and Rudy Krause told us they would send pictures after Brittany's adoption was final. My ex-husband and I received one set of pictures one time and never heard from them again. We are to this day unsure of why they stopped sending us pictures of Brittany.

So much has changed since we received the last set of pictures. Christopher and I divorced on April 5, 2000. I dated for a while and he got remarried. On July 18, 2002, I got back together with Aubrey Wade Moser, who I went out with briefly while I was married, and we married on September 24, 2002. Our daughter Hannah Nicole Moser was born on July 11, 2003. Despite my happiness of the marriage, and Hannah's birth, I always wondered how Brittany was doing and why her adoptive parents stopped contact with us and stopped sending pictures.

From the time we received the last set of pictures of Brittany to the present, I have been looking for any trace of Brittany and her parents. Recently, I had a breakthrough. I looked on the shot records that her adoptive parents gave us when she came to stay with us for a month and it was stamped Pediatric Specialists for the location where Brittany had received her immunizations. So I looked up Pediatric Specialists in Colorado Springs in the yahoo.com business directory and I found the number to one of their offices and they gave me the phone number to the number where Brittany's adoptive mother works. I called her and it went a lot better than I expected. She told me a lot about how Brittany is doing. She is a lot like me. And her adoptive mother gave me her work address and said she would think about sending me a picture of Brittany. And that I could write Brittany a letter and send her pictures, and she will show them to her when the time is right. She also told me that she felt it was not the right time for Brittany to talk to me but that Brittany does know she is adopted and that her birth parents did not want to give her up, but they had no choice. Her adoptive mom also got in touch with the Department of Health and Human Services in Colorado Springs and a caseworker from there contacted me by mail and said Brittany's adoptive mom called her and requested they assist me in contacting Brittany. I will send letters and pictures to Brittany and through D.H.S. It's not great, but I do hope it will lead to future contact with Brittany and her adoptive parents. After all these years, the door is open for future contact with with my birth daughter and hopefully it will not close so I will have more to add to this story as time goes by.

I would like to thank the Lord and my wonderful Husband Aubrey Wade Moser for being my daily inspirations and for being with me through a lot of rough times. I would also like to thank God for Brittany. If it weren't for her, this story would have never been written. I would also like to thank God for my other two beautiful children Michaela and Hannah and for the opportunity to raise them. I also want to thank Coley for asking to write this story and also for her love and friendship and help in healing over the past few months and for her continued friendship and guidance. I also want to thank Dax Ripka-Carthwright, Brittany Mills, Lani, Krissy Floddin, Hilary, and my secret sis Vicki for their friendship. And to all the BirthMom Buds; you all are wonderful and a daily inspiration to me. everything and assigning me to start this story seven years ago. To Ms Mathis thank you for being my mentor, friend, and for assigning me this story to begin with and for being the inspiration for it. I love you. And to my wonderful mother (in-law), I am so Glad that you are a part of my life and the life of the two wonderful daughters we have been blessed with. And to my wonderful sister Sandra, thanks for all your love and support and for blessing with a wonderful niece and nephew. And to my brother-in-law Denny, thanks for loving Sandra and the kids like you do. I hope we meet in person someday.

Update ~ The door closed again quickly after that. Her adoptive parents told the D.H.S. caseworker that they would not send pictures. I also got a letter from their lawyer saying if I contacted them again, then criminal charges would be filed against me because I was going against the "adoption agreement". The one I never agreed to. I felt like I was losing her all over again. Her adoptive mom did not want my address because she was thinking of sending me pictures of my daughter but because she was going to have her lawyer send me that letter. I talked to their lawyer and he said he would try to get me pictures of her for me, but after months of them saying they "tried", they said they could not get them to agree to sending pictures. I told their lawyer and the D.H.S. caseworker that I was going to buy her a photo album and start filling it for her (which I have done since then) and I will continue to write in a journal I have for her (I also have one for Michaela and Hannah). And both of them asked me to keep in touch with them, especially if I move because when Brittany is 18 or maybe even 16, she can come looking for me and if she contacts them, they can give her my address and telephone number. I really hope and pray that she will contact them. One part of me wants the time to go by fast so either she can find me or I can find her. That would mean that my other two daughters will be grown and almost grown. So, I have mixed emotions. I just hope that, Brittany you will contact me when you can and find out what really happened and that you have another mother who loves you very much.

Update ~ May 2008 ~ I have not heard from Brittany’s adoptive parents since they sent me the letter telling me to not contact them again. I recently wrote a letter to Brittany’s adoptive parents asking for contact again, and I plan on mailing it soon. I recently updated the journal I keep for Brittany and added more pictures to the photo album I have for her. I of course, still love and miss Brittany, and I am hopeful and prayerful about a reunion with her.

Alicia's Thoughts on Social Services

"I know that D.H.S., child welfare, D.C.F., or whatever they are called
where you live does a lot of good and helps and rescues
children from severe abuse and neglect. Some
caseworkers even risk their lives for these children,
but I can honestly say from my heart in this case
they were wrong, our daughter should
have never been removed from our home."