Kristin's Page
"My journey....
When a child's future was put in my hands"
About Kristin
Hi my name is Kristin and I am 17. I currently live in Southern California. I am a senior in high school and have been home schooled ever since I got pregnant. Next year I hope to go to University of Missouri Columbia, and study to be either a NICU(Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) Nurse, or just a Labor and Delivery nurse. Right now I work at a small cookie shop by my house called Campitellis and I also volunteer at the hospital. I love to scrapbook and play basketball. My daughters name is Lauren Anna Kristine and I have a very open adoption.
It never seems fair when you do something so courageous, so unselfish, so loving and all you get in return is heartache, pain, and loneliness. I come from a Christian family and have been raised in the Christian faith all my life. The members at my church have all known me since the day I was born. The discovery of my pregnancy practically split the church.
Chad, the birth father, and I have known each other all our lives. We both attended the same church since the day we were born. Just us dating was a shock to our church and youth group but when they all found out I was pregnant at 16 no one knew what to think. Chad and I dated for a little over a year before I got pregnant.
I knew I was pregnant the whole time but never wanted to believe it. I would lightly mention it to Chad but never sounded serious enough to get one so we never did. I was finally 3 weeks late and decided to finally take one. We got one but it had an expiration date on it (did you know those things expire???) So I took and it came out positive but again I was in denial because it was "out of date." A couple days later Chad and I broke up because we finally came to the realization that I WAS pregnant and decided we couldn't maintain a relationship with all the stress about to come and that it would be easier if we stayed friends but still supported each other. Well, that night Chad went home really upset and told his parents that I was pregnant without us being 100% sure!!! So the next day I went to a Christian clinic that gave free pregnancy tests. She asked a few questions then gave me the test. We talked while waiting for the test to be finished. After what seemed to be hours she came out with the results. " POSITIVE " .... One word that one change my life forever. Chad and I took a moment to hold each other and let one another cry on their shoulders. Chad quickly assured me he would always be there and not too worry, that we would figure this out.
Telling my mom was the hardest thing to do in my life. I think she already knew but having to tell her I knew would disappoint her more than anything. And what was even harder was having to tell my dad on his birthday. They both were supportive but my dad STRONGLY suggested the adoption route. I was sure I was going to raise my baby. It made so much sense, I would get to do what I love and I was ready to be a mom. But I quickly began to realize it was at all about me. After many months of counseling I agreed to start looking at profiles for perspective parents, but I made it clear that it didn't mean I was choosing adoption. So the preacher at my church quickly called up friends of his at the church he used to preach in St. Louis and asked if they were looking to adopt (he knew they had a hard time having their first one and were looking to adopt their 2nd) But they gladly/regretfully informed him that they had unexpectedly got pregnant but had good friends of theirs that might be. So the preacher called up Chris and Gena and asked them to send a profile. A friend of my moms called up her friends, Dalaina and Byron, in Denver and asked them to send a profile also. Once I got the profiles they both looked so perfect. I knew it was going to be so hard if I decided adoption because there was going to be one family I was going to hurt. I called both couples (they attached their numbers in their profiles in case I wanted to call) and quickly fell in love them!! So I decided to go and see how they live, so that I could see which best suited what I wanted for my baby.
A week before we were supposed to go to St. Louis the couple in Denver backed out. They simply said they realized they weren't ready for another baby (They had just recently adopted an infant who would only be 9 months when my baby was born). So I went to St. Louis knowing that that couple was the one for my sweet Lauren. No matter what I could just feel it!! My mom and I made a card that invited them to the birth and upbringing of my unborn child. We gave them some pink flowers and the card at a family picnic they were having! Almost their whole family was there to celebrate the news with them! It was great! Everyone cried and hugged. It was soo good to see how excited they were!
After that Gena and I talked on the phone about 2 times a week and I would call her when I went to my appointments so that she could hear Lauren's heartbeat. The next 2 months went by very quickly! It was a Sunday night and my mom and I got extremely sick so the next morning we decided to go to urgent care. While we were at urgent care I started having contractions. It was only Monday and the adoptive parents weren't coming till Wednesday. So we called and told them to come early just in case. So they quickly jumped on a plane and flew here. My contractions stopped once they got here (typical eh??) So we kind of showed them around Southern California the next two days. On Thursday we went to my last Dr appt. We were supposed to go to an ultrasound so that they could see her later that day but we were informed at my Dr appt that I was already 4cm and that they would induce me that night!! Well they told us to come back at 730... but they called and said not to come till 9 cause they were too full. So we went out to dinner and went shopping while I was in labor! hehe... So they finally get an opening at 3 30 in the morning!!! After 5 hours of labor and 6 pushes God presented the most precious gift to me ever!!!The 7lb 6oz 19" little bundle was the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I never knew you could love someone that much! That day many of my friends and family came to visit. I never really had any alone time w/ her till night after visiting hours were over. I just held her and loved her to death. That was the scariest night of my life. I knew it was my last night as her "mommy." The next day I was due to relinquish all my rights to her and simply hand her over to some else to love and raise her.
The next day I woke up dreading the rest of the day. I spent as much time with her and held her as much as I could. The adoptive parents didn't come in much that day because they wanted me to have as much with her as I needed. At 4 that night I relinquished all my rights. I cried over my sweet little Lauren and dressed her and got her ready to go home with someone other than me. My mom and I drove them to where they were staying and then drove home. Which is where I cried for the rest of the night. Since the adoptive parents were out of state they had to stay here till everything was signed and finalized. So that meant I got to spend a whole week with Lauren! The next Sunday we had a dedication for her at my church and my whole congregation got to me her! I really got to bond with her and slowly say good bye to her. On Christmas Eve we took her for her first Disneyland trip!! And on Christmas morning I had to say my final good-bye to her. The adoptive parents were kind enough to let me sit with her till it was 20 min till their take off time. My mom stayed with me till I was finally ready to leave, even after they had gone through security and taken off.
I am able to visit Lauren whenever I like. But I know and understand what is too much. I receive pictures of her and talk to Gena and Chris about once every couple weeks. I love the relationship I have with her parents and I can't wait to have a relationship with my daughter and am able to tell her that she was NEVER unwanted.
Photos of Lauren
Isn't she sweet in the roses??
(above)
From left to right - Kristin, Lauren's Amom, Gena, and Kristin's Mom
Lauren
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