<sup>I found out I was six weeks pregnant in October of 2003. The birthfather and I recently split up and I knew adoption was the right journey for me. I found it difficult telling my mother. We have a great relationship and are very close and I knew she would worry about my decision and how it would affect me not only during my pregnancy but long term as well. 

For the most part I went through my pregnancy on my own. I did not have anyone to go to doctor appointments with me. I did not have anyone there when I had my ultrasound and found out I was having a girl.</sup>  

^{My first trimester was a difficult one. I was very sick morning, noon and night. I lived alone and worked as a full time nanny caring for two boys under the age of one.  The pregnancy took its toll on me and by early February I was out of work.}  

^{Making an adoption plan for my unborn child was an easy one for me. I did not know where to begin so I starting searching on the Internet and found tons of agencies out there.}   

^{I found a local pregnancy care center and asked if they had anyone on staff that was experienced in adoption. They referred me to LG whom I met with for the first time in the fall of 2003 and she was amazing. She specialized in birthmother support and has knowledge of adoption. I knew LG would become a real support system to me, which she did. I am very grateful for LG being there for me unconditionally throughout my entire pregnancy as well as the hospital when my daughter was born. She continues to be a huge support in my life.} 

^{Back in the fall of 2003 I started looking on the Internet for adoption agencies. I knew I only wanted an open adoption because I wanted to be indirectly a part of my child's life forever! Most agencies I found were not very supportive or birthmother friendly. I did find a few couples on my own which did not pan out. I started talking with a couple in New York that found me through a birthmother support forum online. We spoke for almost three months and things just started to fizzle. At this point, I was starting my sixth month and knew time was running out for me financially. I desperately needed financial support because I had no source of income. I knew from day one that this would be a rough journey but in my heart, I knew I was doing the right thing by giving my child life. I had no medical insurance and the bills were mounting. I found another couple online that was located in Connecticut. The first time we spoke I thought that was it that I finally found the match I had been waiting for. They had twin boys that were two years old that were adopted as well. Within a few days they booked a trip for me to fly up there to meet them.. Unfortunately, this couple was with an agency out of Texas and they too were not able to assist me with my finances because there were too many restrictions due to state laws. Each state has very different laws in covering birthmother expenses as well as the overall adoption process.}  

^{In March I found an attorney that specialized in adoption. She was located in California and found me a few couples that truly matched all my needs. I finally felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel as I had talked to so many couples and had so many empty promises. Birthmothers too have horror stories about the journey in the adoption process. I felt in my heart the right couple was out there but time was running out for me and I needed to match. At the same time I contacted a local agency and they had a couple that met my criteria and they just happened to live a short distance from my home. I met with the agency on a Friday and spoke with the Amom for the first time. We made dinner plans for the next evening. I met LA on the following day for the first time. We completely clicked. We had dinner and sat in a coffee shop and spent several hours together. I knew this was finally a MATCH! God had answered my prayers.} 

^{I met LA and J (adoptive parents) the following Tuesday for lunch and confirmed they were the right couple to raise my daughter and I knew in my heart God had matched me with a good family. They have a six-year-old son who is biological as well as a dog, which were on my list of things I was looking for in an adoptive family.}

^{I just started my seventh month and LA started going to my doctor appointments with me as up until then I went alone each month. My last few months of pregnancy were a bit difficult because I had very bad edema (swelling of feet and hands). I had only gained 23 lbs my first seven and a half months, however my last 6 weeks I gained an additional 28 lbs that was all water.} 

^{I gave birth to my daughter at 37 weeks via cesarean section on May 17th, 2004 at 11:52am. Sarah Grace weighed 9 lbs, 3ozs. The adoptive parents were in the delivery room.  Sarah and I struggled a bit for the first 24-hour hours but were fine after that. We had some time together in the hospital, which was wonderful. I recently saw Sarah and it was a great time for the both of us.}

^{The next year will be very challenging for both the aparents and myself as our new relationship evolves. I am very grateful to LA & J for adopting Sarah and giving her a stable, loving and caring home. I know in my heart Sarah has a great life ahead of her.} 

^{Becoming pregnant though in the beginning was very scary but I can honestly say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes, I was 31 years old and this was my first pregnancy and child but I knew from day one this was the right decision. Adoption was a new journey and I wanted to take it no matter where it led me.}  

^{A few things I think all women should do is educate, educate, educate. I cannot stress that enough. Make sure you have a birthmother advocate. That is something I did not have and will always regret. The agency I filed with should have had a birthmother representative and did not. Do not be afraid to speak your mind because you might regret it later. The Internet has been a wonderful tool for research and information.} 

^{Entrustment Ceremony}

Melanie and the adoptive parents chose to have an entrustment ceremony for Sarah. Many birthmoms and adoptive families are now choosing to have entrustment ceremonies as a way to make the adoption process a little more personal.  

"We had the entrustment ceremony when Sarah was 5 days old. It was the day after we were both released from the hospital. My best friend, Jimi, flew down from New York just for it. My mother and step father were there as well. I read a letter I wrote to the adoptive parents and then a letter I wrote to Sarah and then I read 2 poems aloud to Sarah."

The two poems Melanie read aloud at the entrustment ceremony were:

The Hardest Day of My Life

and The Legacy of a Child In an Open Adoption