How to Survive Mother’s Day
by Alicia Moser

Mother’s day is all around us at this time of year. There are cards, gifts, television commercials, and other things that are constant reminders as to what holiday is right around the corner. Being a birthmother makes Mother’s Day a very hard day. You may have the temptation to run and hide under the covers all day, but instead of throwing your own pity party, I have a few ideas to help you get through the day.

• Buy yourself a special gift or do something relaxing for yourself. There is not much recognition for many birthmothers on Mother’s day, so I suggest that you do something special for yourself whether it be making yourself a special breakfast, treating yourself to flowers, getting yourself a manicure and/or pedicure, buying yourself a new outfit, buying yourself candles and/or bubble bath, etc. Remember to listen to yourself and to not let anyone crowd you emotionally.

• Write something about or for your child such as a letter, journal entry, or poem. I do all of these frequently for my daughter. I write poems, print them all out, and then hope to give them to my daughter when we reunite. If you don’t consider yourself poetic, you could try by beginning writing something for each of the letters in your child’s name. I also write letters to my daughter in a special journal I have for her. Even if you never give the letters to your child, writing can be very therapeutic.

• Create a family tree to give to your child for your child when they are an adult or when you are reunited. I haven’t heard of doing this before but I think it would be a great gift to give to my birth daughter.

• Light a candle in honor of your birth child.  Release a balloon or balloons in honor of your birth child.

• Plant a tree or garden in honor of your birth child.

• Donate books to your local library or a school library in honor of your birth child.

• Speak out to organizations about adoption.

• Attend a Birthmother's Day event if there is one in your area.

Whatever you decide to do on Mother’s day, remember to remember yourself, because birthmothers ARE mothers too!

Sources:
When Mother's Day Hurts
Birthmother's Day & Mother's Day
14 Ways for a Birthmother to Honor her Placed Child